Princes' Email
by xXRandomnessPrevailsXx
Summary: This is Tezuka Kunimitsu. I am to inform you that Seigaku will be hosting a question/response email format. Questions can be asked of any character at all the schools we are in contact with. Please refrain from making inappropriate inquiries.
1. Information

Konnichiwa.

This is Tezuka Kunimitsu.

I am to inform you that Seigaku will be hosting a question/response email format. Questions can be asked of any character at all the schools we are in contact with. Please refrain from making inappropriate inquiries.

_Yudan sezu ni ikou._

-Tezuka Kunimitsu.


	2. LOVEPocky

**Huge thanks to LOVEPocky for the first email! (Even though I asked her to... *shamed*)**

**ANYWAY!**

* * *

><p>From LOVEPocky-san to the Princes of Seigaku:<p>

**Dear Ryoma-kun,  
>Do you like Sakuno-chan? Do you even know who she is?<strong>

Echizen R.: The girl with the too-long hair, wobbly hips, and good food? I guess.

Momoshiro T.: Jeez, Echizen. They can't even tell which question you're answering, if at all!

**Dear Tezuka-kun,  
>Why are you always so serious? Don't you ever smile?<strong>

Tezuka K.: ..._yudan sezu ni ikou._

Inui S.: I have video evidence of Tezuka smiling from episode twenty-six of the OVA and from chapter three hundred seventy-nine of the manga.

Tezuka K.: Inui. One hundred laps. _NOW._

**Dear Eiji-kun,  
>Why is there always a band-aid on your cheek? Why do you act like a cat?<strong>

Kikumaru E.: Hoi hoi! B-because...? When we were Freshmen, I got hurt during practice, and Oishi-mama never let me take the band-aid off that spot in case it got infected, nya. And when I was little, I was always hanging around the family cat and I guess it became a habit.

**Dear Oishi-kun,  
>Why do you always act like a mom? You're too nice sometimes. Are you ever mean or slightly mean?<strong>

Oishi S.: E-eh? Um, I think it's because I was always getting hurt as a small kid and my uncle told me to always be careful for myself and for the sake of others. I'm too nice? I've been told that that isn't the case when it comes to yakiniku...

Momoshiro T.: 'Not the case'? Oishi-sempai, when it comes to meat, you're a YAKINIKU FREAKIN' MAGISTRATE.

**Dear Inui-kun,  
>Why do you make poisonous drinks? Whenhow in the world does blending in bugs help your work?**

Inui S.: Poisonous? Au contraire; my creations are made for the sole purpose of benefitting the team. The ingredients I have included are strange because they are beneficial and they force the members to exert themselves in order to avoid drinking it.

**Dear Taka-kun,  
>How does having a racket give you this BURNING energy?<strong>

Kawamura T.: Er, I'm actually not too sure why it does that. I can't even remember what happens when—

Fuji S.: Hai, Taka-san, racket.

Kawamura T.: GREAAAT! Not bad, kid! You've completely stumped me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Dear Fuji-kun,  
>Why are you so sadistic? What's so fun about watching people in pain? If you enjoy it so much, why don't you bully people? (Not that I'm encouraging it.)<strong>

Fuji S.: I'm not _sadistic_ per se. I simply enjoy the process of inner turmoil leading to epiphanous internal moments. And I don't 'bully' people into it because it happens often enough without my input. Like the way Ryoma has begun to self-evaluate his views of others because of a certain girl, for example.

Kikumaru E.: Eh? Does that mean Ochibi's finally starting to like Sa—

Momoshiro T.: I think it does, sempai! Ah, to be young...

Echizen R.: Sempai-tachi are being stupid.

Inui S.: Ninety-eight point seven percent chance of Echizen saying that just to makes us stop talking.

Oishi S.: Well, we shouldn't be talking about another person's personal affairs in the first place. Right?

Kawamura T.: ECHIZEN'S JUST BEING SHY! COME ON, KID, PROFESS YOUR LOVE BOLDLY!

Kaidoh K.: Ffffsssshhhh...

Tezuka K.: Stop wasting the email on your comments or it's two hundred laps!

**Dear Momo-kun,  
>How can you eat so much and not gain weight? Where do you get all this metabolism?<strong>

Momoshiro T.: Ahaha! It's all possible because of tennis! Playing and practicing makes me hungry, so I eat and turn food into energy so I can play some more. It's a vicious cycle, right? But you can't keep eating and eating without using your energy on something. It builds up and makes you fat, which isn't good, not good at all.

**Dear Kaidoh-kun,  
>Why do you scowl so much? It gives your face wrinkles, you know.<strong>

Kaidoh K.: Fffssssshhhhhhhhh!

Inui S.: The closest translation I can offer is, 'It's not my fault I can't look like how I feel! I was born with this face...'

Tezuka K.: Thank you for taking the time to email us, LOVEPocky-san.

Momoshiro T.: Yeah! It was a lot of fun! Ne, Echizen? ...Echizen?

Kikumaru E.: Ochibi? Is he out looking for Sa—

Echizen R.: _Mada mada dane._

* * *

><p><strong>I had a lot of fun writing this. Seriously, thank you so much, LOVEPocky! Your questions made me giddy for whatever reason. :D *gigglesnort*<strong>

**Please review if you want to see YOUR questions answered! It's open to all characters at all schools! (I'll even take questions for Midoriyama or Jousei Shounan or whatever schools you think of.)**


	3. rebirthreborn

**Yay, I have three more chapters to do! Sorry I wasn't able to get this out earlier. I was busy and I have a really small amount of time to do this.**

**This time it's from rebirthreborn-san!**

* * *

><p>From rebirthreborn-san to the Princes of Hyoutei:<p>

**Atobe,  
>Can you stop referring yourself as Ore-sama for once? Or is there anyone who can make you do that?<strong>

Atobe K.: Ahn~? There is nothing that could make Ore-sama stoop so low. Especially not a person.

Oshitari Y.: What do you mean, Atobe? In Randomness-chan's story 'Sensibilities', you fell for Gin-san.

Akutagawa J.: Yeah! I remember that! In the last chapter, in the last paragraph that you were featured in, you said 'I'!

Shishido R.: Aren't you only supposed to be awake when something exciting is going on?

Akutagawa J.: Like when Buchou's taking a liking to something other than himself, forced dates, or a tennis racket?

**Oshitari,**  
><strong>Do you miss Kenya?<strong>

Oshitari Y.: Of course. He _is_ my cousin. The reason I wear glasses when I don't need them is because when we were small, he wanted to pretend we ran a clinic. So he made me wear fake glasses, and since then I've been wearing fake glasses every day to remind myself of him.

Ootori C.: That's really sweet, sempai.

**Gakuto,  
>Would you like to pair up with Eiji from Seigaku one day?<strong>

Mukahi G.: Me? Play Doubles with that neko-freak? No way. Our styles are too different! It wouldn't work!

Taki H.: Yeah, especially considering the both of you have terrible stamina. Well, I think Kikumaru-san got rid of his during the Nationals...

Mukahi G.: Sh-shut up, Taki! Whose side are you on?

**Kabaji,  
>Is there anything you can say besides 'usu'?<strong>

Kabaji M.: ..._katsu no wa Hyoutei desu. _(The winners will be Hyoutei.)

Atobe K.: Naa, Kabaji?

Kabaji M.: Ussu.

**Shishido,**  
><strong>What happens if your blue cap was lost &amp; it was found at Choutaro's place, will you go get it?<strong>

Shishido R.: ? Yeah, why? Is it weird to hang out at a friend's place once in a while?

Oshitari Y.: I don't think that's what they're trying to get at, Shishido.

Ootori C.: What _are _they trying to get at, then?

Oshitari Y.: ...never mind.

**Ootori,  
>Is it possible if you call Shishido 'Shishido-kun' instead of 'Shishido-san' since you guys are very close to each other?<strong>

Ootori C.: I guess I could, since sempai tells me that I'm his best friend, but I don't want to because I look up to him. And because I look up to Shishido-san as a sempai, I don't want anyone to think that I'm older than him since I'm taller.

Taki H.: Hey, you really _are_ taller than him!

Oshitari Y.: That must suck, Shishido.

Shishido R.: Shut up, Oshitari!

Mukahi G.: I think we've found out why he's got an inferiority complex.

**Jirou,  
>Do you play tennis even when you sleep?<strong>

Akutagawa J.: What? I can't play tennis when I'm asleep! I can play when I'm awake, even if I'm sleepy, though. But wouldn't it be cool if I could play tennis while I was asleep? That's extreme sleepwalking! I could be on a level of genius that matches Marui-san's genius! Ne, Atobe, wouldn't that be cool?

Atobe K.: Ore-sama believes it wouldn't be wise to try and learn, Jirou.

Ootori C.: Yeah, Jirou-sempai. If you're sleeping, you could get hurt!

Atobe K.: What? That's not what Ore-sama meant. If you beat them asleep, then their pride— Scratch that, Jirou. Ore-sama commands you to play tennis asleep.

**Hiyoshi,  
>Would you quit tennis &amp; focus on martial arts instead?<strong>

Wakashi H.: Being able to focus on both at the same time and improve in both areas is _gekokujou._

Mukahi G.: Nah, he's just stubborn.

Oshitari Y.: But his martial arts does come through in his play style.

**Takinosuke,  
>What are the items that you have never counted?<strong>

Taki H.: For one, my name is **Taki Haginosuke**. Not Takinosuke. And two, with the exception of the team's tennis stats, I count money. I mean, I _am_ the Student Coucil Treasurer.

Shishido R.: So, how much money do we have in the funding, then, _Takinosuke?_

Taki H.: One, shut up. And two, Atobe's family funds the school. It's impossible to count _everything_.

Ootori C.: That would be the case, wouldn't it?

Oshitari Y.: Has anyone else noticed that Tezuka is _also_ the President of his Student Coucil?

Atobe K.: Ore-sama has also noticed. What is the point you are trying to make?

Mukahi G.: I think they were just pointing it out, Atobe.

Akutagawa J.: It feels like we're forgetting something. Naa, Kabaji?

Kabaji M.: Ussu.

Wakashi H.: ...thanks for emailing. Bye.

* * *

><p><strong>They're so off topic sometimes. Eh. <strong>

**Quick reminder! If you have questions for specific characters, you can just ask those characters. Like, if you have questions for Tachibana, the Kisarazu twins, and Shiraishi, it's totally cool to just shoot them questions. You don't have to ask their entire team questions. (Though the unquestioned team members may comment.) Thanks again, rebirthreborn!**


	4. The Ecstasy Speed Star

**Whoo! We have input from The Ecstasy Speed Star! (Sh-Shiraishi? Couldn't you just have asked your team members at practice? *has a lame sense of humor*)**

* * *

><p>From The Ecstasy Speed Star-san to the Princes of Shitenhouji:<p>

**Dear Shiraishi-kun,  
>Don't you feel bad for lying to Kin-chan that your bandaged arm is a poisoned arm?<strong>

Shiraishi K.: Yeah, I do feel mean for tricking him like that. But it's for the best! I swear! If you don't have a way to control him, he's worse than a pack of Kikumarus and Momos on sugar rush hangovers!

Chitose S.: And how would you happen to know that—

Shirashi K.: Fuji. Don't ever let him invite you to parties at Kawamura's.

**Dear Chitose-kun,  
>Can you predict everything? If not, what?<strong>

Chitose S.: My dear, I believe you misunderstood. I can only predict things that are either in a tennis match, against rival tennis teams, or _shougi_ matches. I can't predict how somebody's going to die, or if Echizen's ever going to get a girfriend, or if Ishida's ever going to grow hair.

Ishida G.: Ouch. That was hurtful.

**Dear Kenya-kun,  
>How in the world can you run that fast?<strong>

Oshitari K.: I'm an Oshitari! We're special by blood!

Zaizen H.: In other words, he doesn't know. But I know.

Oshitari K.: Really? Then what?

Zaizen H.: You spent a lot of time running around after Oshitari Yuushi when you played together. It developed your leg muscles well. That simple.

**Dear Zaizen-kun,  
>Do you know there are many girls who think you are hot? Oh, and what do you think about Kenya-kun?<strong>

Zaizen H.: I know. I get freaky comments from these fangirls all the time on my blog. Kenya is a formidable opponent. I won't lose to him.

Shiraishi K.: No one knows what you're talking about, Hikaru.

Oshitari K.: Oh! I get it! You're still mad about the—

**Dear Gin-kun,  
>How much did you train to get those BIG muscles? Also, what would you do if someone made the 110th Style Hadoukyuu?<strong>

Ishida G.: A lot of weight training. I even wore weights when I slept so that I'd have to work hard to just get up in the morning. But I wouldn't be sursprised if Kawamura-san was able to do my 110th Style. He surpassed even my 120th Style at the Nationals. He's surely improved a lot since then.

Chitose S.: He's not kidding. He means 'get up' literally.

Konjiki K.: Oh? And how would you know _that_, Chitose?

Chitose S.: Shut it, Koharu. Shiraishi was there, too.

Konjiki K.: A threesome? You really are naughty—

Shiraishi K.: Gin, I give you full permission to use the 120th Style on Koharu.

Konjiki K.: _Iya~n! _Yuu-kun~!

**Dear Kin-chan,  
>Do you really believe in the poison arm? And why did you call Koshimae 'Echizen' in The Prince of Naniwa: Second Act?<strong>

Tooyama K.: Eh? His name isn't Koshimae?

Shiraishi K.: Then again, you knew that, didn't you?

Tooyama K.: Knew what? That Koshimae wanted takoyaki and flew all the way to Osaka from New York just to eat it?

Shiraishi K.: No. Explain properly or I'll use the poison arm.

Tooyama K.: Nooo! Anything but that! Okay! I'll tell you! You keep calling Koshimae 'Echizen! Echizen!' and I wanted to use his nickname, too! But I didn't want him to know that he's alright by me!

Oshitari K.: Nickname...?

Chitose S.: I can't even tell if he's being coy or if he's serious.

**Dera Koharu-kun,  
>A-are you really gay?<strong>

Konjiki K.: Quit joking! Gay? Hell no! If I had a choice, I'd never have _anything _to do with that idiot Hitouji!

Chitose S.: He's serious. He actually doesn't get along too well with Yuuji.

Konjiki K.: He's too clingy. The gay thing was just to get laughs outta people. Someone with my genius IQ of 200 could never fall for such a stupid country bumpkin! I like cute girls.

Hitouji Y.: Why do you hate meeeeee?

Shiraishi K.: We know ya don't get along with him well, but could ya be less harsh? We're ALL considered country bumpkins.

**Dear Yuuji-kun,  
>Do you really love Koharu, or is there someone else?<strong>

Hitouji Y.: Well, seeing as how Koha— Konjiki-san hates me now, I guess there_ is _a girl in my class that really—

Konjiki K.: What? You've got someone ELSE? I thought you _loved_ me, Yuu-kun~!

Hitouji Y.: I thought you hated _me!_ What the hell's going on?

Zaizen H.: I, for one, don't want to stick around long enough to see what happens between them, so next question.

**Dear Koishikawa-kun,  
>How do you feel when people forget about you? Also, did you know that most people thoughtthink that Kenya is the fuku-buchou (vice captain)?**

Koishikawa K.: Y-you didn't forget to ask _me_ a question...? This is great! I was finally remembered! Isn't that great, everyone?

Tooyama K.: ...who are you, again?

Oshitari K.: I'll crush you for saying that you have my rightful place as fuku-buchou.

Shiraishi K.: Oi, that's not nice! Don't mind Koishi... Koishi...

Chitose S.: Wasn't it Koishikaze?

Koishikawa K.: Koishi_kawa!_

Zaizen H.: No one cares anymore, sempai.

Koishikawa K.: That's so mean! Just because you're more popular than I am doesn't mean—

Zaizen H.: Whatever. Thanks for sending us an email.

* * *

><p><strong>They're kinda... rude. Don't you think?<strong>


	5. EcstaticPetenshi

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while... But don't worry! I'm off school now! But since I graduated from my middle school, I won't be going back. I'm going to miss the place... ;-;**

**I don't want to go to high school.**

**When the middle schoolers' year starts (which is on a different day from the high schoolers) I'm going to visit my old campus specifically for the purpose of bothering my old friends and teachers.**

**Also, I haven't been slacking! I'm on vacation, visiting friends and family in the Philippines! I don't get any Web access most of the time...**

* * *

><p>From the EcstaticPetenshi-san to the Princes of Rikkai Dai:<p>

**Dear Yukimura,  
>How many headbands do you have?<strong>

Yukimura S.: Well, that really depends upon the amount of extra allowance I have left over. I usually spend my money on gardening supplies and books.

Yanagi R.: It also depends on the number of times Niou auctions them off. According to his profits this week, he has stolen approximately seventeen from your club room locker just yesterday.

Yukimura S.: Hm... Well then, that puts me at only about thirty or so...

Kirihara A.: Do you really need that many, Buchou? That's like one for every day of the month!

Yanagi R.: According to my data, Sanada has a hat for every day of the _year_, including a special one he wears on February 29th of every Leap Ye—

Sanada G.: _Tarundoru!_

Niou M.: Tsk tsk. That's not good, Buchou. You need to hurry up and find a girlfriend to spend all this extra cash on.

Yagyuu H.: Niou, I'm not bailing you out this time.

Marui B.: Like you're one to talk, Niou. You spend all _your_ allowanceon pranks.

Jackal K.: Like _you're_ one to talk, Marui! All _you_ buy are cakes and sweets! It's a wonder you're not diabetic!

**Dear Sanada,  
>A very simple question: how old are you?<strong>

Sanada G.: T-_tarundoru!_

Yukimura S.: How cute, you're blushing.

Kirihara A.: What? I thought Fuku-buchou is fourteen, like everyone else. Unless...

Marui B.: ...unless?

Kirihara A.: Unless he's FIFTEEN!

Jackal K.: ...

Niou M.: Are you serious, Bakaya?

Yanagi R.: Sanada Genichirou, blood type A, right-handed, born May 21st. In other words, he's really fourteen.

Yukimura S.: Still blushing, Genichirou.

**Dear Yanagi,  
>How can you walk, gather data, or play tennis without opening your eyes?<strong>

Yanagi R.: Ah. ...that is information which is classified so highly it's nearly taboo to speak of it.

Yukimura S.: How cute, you're blushing.

Kirihara A.: Are you going to say that to _everyone, _Buchou?

Yukimura S.: Yes. Why?

Kirihara A.: Just asking! I didn't mean anything by it!

Niou M.: Actually, he keeps his eyes closed because he's got killer lazer vision.

Kirihara A.: Really?

Jackal K.: No, not really! Niou! Stop messing with him!

Yagyuu H.: The reason Yanagi-kun keeps his eyes closed is because he is simply comfortable that way. God knows what the fangirls are going to do when they see his eyes open.

Marui B.: Eh? That's so mean, Yanagi! Escaping and leaving us to fend for ourselves!

Yanagi R.: Your revenge is fearsome, but the fangirls are scarier.

**Dear Niou,  
><strong>**What's the meaning of "puri", "piyo", and "pupiina"? (No "It's a secret" or "Idk" or "What do you think?" or anything like that as the answer.)**

Niou M.: ..._puri._

Yukimura S.: How cute, you're blushing.

Niou M.: ...

Kirihara A.: ...? Uwa! Niou-sempai really is blushing!

Niou M.: Shuddap, Bakaya!

Yanagi R.: Niou's use of those catchphrases is primarily because they're nonsensical sounds. However, "puri" has a meaning in another language. In Filipino, the general name of the language of the Philippine Islands, "puri" means "pride".

Marui B.: Huh. I didn't know that. But what do you mean by 'the general name'...?

Yanagi R.: The Philippines are a series of over 1,700 islands. They are split into three main groups: Luzon, the Visayas, and Mindanao. In these provinces, there are a total of over 300 different dialects. In addition to the main dialect of an area, Filipinos are also taught to speak Tagalog, the national dialect, and English. Basically, they're trilingual before they've even graduated elementary.

Sanada G.: _Tarundoru! _This isn't even about the question anymore! Next question or 200 laps!

**Dear Yagyuu,  
>Are your glasses fake?<strong>

Yagyuu H.: My dear, please do not confuse me with certain leg-fetished perverts. I actually need my glasses to see. Though sometimes, when Niou and I switch places, I wear contacts as to not ruin the illusion. The glasses Niou wears when we switch places have fake lenses.

**Dear Marui,  
>How can you stay rather slim after eating so many sweets?<strong>

Marui B.: Rather slim? RATHER slim? Blasphemous words! My figure is not 'rather slim'! I have perfect figure as a result of my participation in athletic activities! I eat sweets BECAUSE I am perfect! Sweets are an indulgent pastime and do not hinder my godly shape!

Kirihara A.: Buchou, Marui-sempai's got another sugar rush!

Yukimura S.: In other words, he ate too many cakes without exercizing off the sugar properly. Very well. Genichirou, see to it that Marui runs 50 laps when he sobers up.

**Dear Jackal,  
>Just wondering... How can you not get heatstroke after playing tennis under the sun without any *cough* protection *coughcough* on your head?<strong>

Jackal K.: You know, coughing before and after specific words doesn't make them any less hurtful. I don't get heatstroke because my body is conditioned not to. It's a little like how Higa's Tanishi Kei doesn't die after playing a match with all that blubber. Right?

Yukimura S.: Just because you're sensitive about your head doesn't mean it's okay to lash out at others when explaining.

Jackal K.: I know that! I'm sorry!

**Dear Akaya,  
>Are you sure you don't need any eye drops?<strong>

Kirihara A.: Eye drops? What for?

Yanagi R.: Akaya isn't technically _aware_ of himself when he goes into Devil Mode. His mind goes into overdrive and lacks the capacity to retain memories of Devil Mode. He doesn't know he even has a Devil Mode, so to speak.

Kirihara A.: Sempai, what are you talking about? What's this 'dead-beer moat' you're talking about?

Niou M.: Get it right, Bakaya. It's _Debiru Mo-do, _not _dedo biru mo-to_.

Yagyuu H.: He's right, for once, Akaya-kun. Would you like me to tutor you after practice ends?

Kirihara A.: Yeah, okay, whatever. But what's Devil Mode?

Niou M.: Don't you know? You lose conciousness when you get beat up in a match and go on mass killing sprees.

Jackal K.: Niou! Stop it!

Kirihara A.: What? NO! But then that would explain why I always wake up covered in blood... BUCHOU! How do I stop myself from killing people? Marui-sempai says dying is bad habit! I don't wanna make people have a habit of dying!

Yagyuu H.: Wow. Niou-kun's joke was a little darker than usual, but Akaya-kun blew it out of proportion to an extreme.

Yukimura S.: Maa, Akaya. Calm down. Niou's just playing tricks again.

Kirihara A.: But then, why am I covered in blood all the time?

Yukimura S.: Didn't you know? You're prone to nosebleeds.

Marui B.: Yeesh. This is even worse than when Niou hacked Facebook's mainframe and changed Sanada's _pokes_ to _slaps_. Well, we should thank EcstaticPetenshi-san before Sanada-

Sanada G.: _Tarundoru!_

Yukimura S.: Too late. Thank you for your time, EcstaticPetenshi-san. We hope the wait was well worth it.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, I'm really sorry for the long wait. I've been dragged to so many places that I didn't even have water for five-six hours yesterday. I wasn't feeling well because of that, but then I had to go to a place with a waterfall on Cebu Island. The water was freezing! It felt like ice water. But I went in anyway. Bad decision. I have a roaring cold now, and it feels even worse with all the humidity and heat waves. But I'll do my best! Randomness out~<strong>


	6. Information II

**A short message from management:**

This is Tezuka Kunimitsu, in regards to the terms and conditions of using this email.

Alpha14-san has asked:

What exactly do you mean by inappropriate? I have a set of questions ready for Rikkai...

By inappropriate, we do not tolerate blatant requests of yaoi/shounen-ai between any two participants of this server. There will be no mature content. Refrain from cursing.

We do, however, allow the questioning of a relationship between any two participants, and affections may be hinted at during interaction, as was the case with Konjiki and Hitouji in The Ecstasy Speed Star-san's response mail. Inquiries directed to female persons are permitted.

(In short, here are the rules:

-No asking for PDAs.  
>-No mature content.<br>-No cursing.

-Relationships can be asked about.  
>-Any showings of slight yaoi happen on the accord of participants.<br>-You can ask girls questions.)

Thank you for your curiosity. I hope this brings you clarification.

Please note, I am not responsible for any arguments/injuries questions may cause.

_Yudan sezu ni ikou._

-Tezuka K.

[Edit: It was The Ecstasy Speed Star-san who questioned Shitenhouji, not rebirthreborn-san. Please excuse the misunderstanding.]


	7. LunarChan

**Sorry I haven't updated in so long! Four, five weeks-ish, right? Ack... I'll try to make it up to you guys! Thanks for waiting for so long!**

**I'm officially back from vacation in the Philippines, so I'll be updating hopefully every day for the next two weeks. My first year at high school starts in fourteen days! Urk...**

**All right! I'm continuing! Hope you enjoy the Princes' responses!**

* * *

><p>From LunarChan-san to the Princes of Seigaku, Shitenhouji, Hyoutei, Yamabuki, and Rikkai:<p>

**Dearest Fuji,  
>Why are you always smiling? Isn't it tiring to have your lips pulledstretched out all day? xD**

Fuji S.: Saa... I'm always smiling because I know that there are cute girls watching me.

Oishi S.: ...what kind of reasoning is _that?_

Fuji S.: Well, it's true, isn't it?

Kikumaru E.: But Fujiko, how is your face _not_ stuck smiling? You're like the Cheshire Cat or something...

Fuji S.: Eh? No, not at all. I smile not only for the _kawaii_ girls, but also because there is always something to be smiling about.

Inui S.: In other words, he's always enjoying pain at someone else's expense. Tsk, what a sadist you are, Fuji.

**Dearest Shiraishi,  
>Why are you always saying "Ahh... Ecstasy~"? As many people wonder and ask, ARE YOU ON DRUGS? *gasps* xD Please don't take off your bandages! :O Hehe. Kidding.<strong>

Shiraishi K.: Eh? But I _am_ on drugs... Your love counts as a medication overdose, doesn't it, my _kawaii ko-neko-chan-tachi?_ (Note: ...my cute kittens?)

Chitose S.: ...what in the name of Konomi Takeshi are you talking about? This is like in_ The Musical Prince of Tennis: Dream Live 1st_ when Inui said that the reason his blender of... unknown substances overflowed was because of "the audience's love". "The love overflowed" my sandals!

**Dearest Glorious Atobe,  
>Why are you always calling yourself "Ore-sama"? Can't you just simply say "I" or "me" ? Or was it too boring for you? :) Hehe. But I'm always awed when you say "Oresama no bigi no yoi na!" xD :) Haha.<strong>

Atobe K.: Ore-sama respects you, commoner, for properly addressing Ore-sama! Ore-sama is glorious indeed, _naa, _Kabaji?

Kabaji M.: _Ussu_.

Atobe K.: Ore-sama is too glorious to be addressed otherwise by_ anyone_... _INCLUDING _Ore-sama! Ore-sama should be awestriking no matter the circumstance! That is the presence Ore-sama creates!

Shishido R.: Why are all of this email's responses so lame? Someone call Seigaku and make sure Inui didn't poison our water bottles with some kind of Essence of Idiot.

Ootori C.: They might just have Summer Syndrome, Sempai. It's only natural to feel tired and lazy when you're too focused on beating your life-long nemesis to properly explain your prowess- ...never mind. Someone call Seigaku. Just to be safe.

**Dearest Dan Taichi,  
>Do you have a crush on Akutsu-san? Or on Ryoma-kun? *another gasp*<strong>

Dan T.: ...what are you talking about? That was simply extreme adoration in both cases. Please don't take it the wrong way. Now if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to.

Touji M.: Whoa. Bipolar much? Ne, Akutsu, do you know what happened to him?

Akutsu J.: Do I _look _like I know?

Touji M.: Er, never mind...

Sengoku K.: Don't worry, you reversed panda! It's how he acts in Randomness-chan's upcoming story! Look forward to it!

Minami K.: Wow, that's super lame. Advertising instead of anwering the question. Well, if he weren't acting up, the kid would probably say:

_Dan T.: Eh? No, I don't have a crush on either of them! I just look up to them. They're kind of like celebrities you strive to be like. Asking me if I have a crush on Akutsu-san or Echizen-kun is like asking you if you have a crush on an idol of the same gender, desu!_

Minami K.: ...or something like that.

**Dearest Sengoku,  
>LUCKY! :) Why don't you try playing the LOTTO once? xD Maybe you'll be lucky and win... :) Haha. :)<strong>

Sengoku K.: Eh? Can middle schoolers buy lottery tickets? Lucky~! Maybe I'll give it a try! Thanks for the idea!

Minami K.: Yes, thank you _so_ much for the wonderful idea. Now he's going to keep buying lotto tickets until he wins, and when he wins, he'll use all the money to pay for dates and gifts for all the girls he's chasing, and while he's busy doing that, he won't pay attention to practices or even bother coming to the tournaments!

Dan T.: C-calm down, Minami-buchou! Sengoku-sempai wouldn't abandon us!

Touji M.: The same way Akutsu didn't abandon us after he lost to that Echizen brat from Seigaku?

Akutsu J.: _Ah?_

Dan T.: Uh, don't mind him, desu!

**Dearest Yukimura-san,  
>*bows* The Child of God... :) Why is your jersey always hanging on your shoulders? Is that for looking cool? Well... That is COOL! 8)) Hehe. :)<strong>

Yukimura S.: Ah, thank you. I _do _try to put a bit of effort into it.

Marui B.: Eh? You're actually _worried _about that, Buchou?

Yanagi R.: According to the data I've collected, he's concerned that his condition causes him to appear fragile. However, his pride doesn't allow for pity.

Kirihara A.: Really? I didn't know that.

Niou M.: Of course you wouldn't, Bakaya. You're too dense.

Yagyuu H.: There is a second reason, isn't there?

Yanagi R.: Correct. Sharp deduction. He's also looking for a g-

Yukimura S.: Thank you, Renji, I think you've encouraged the fangirls quite enough.

**Dearest Sanada-san,  
>Do you really have a habit of slapping your teammates? D:<strong>

Kirihara A.: Yes, he does!

Niou M.: Shut up, Bakaya, and let the man answer for himself!

Sanada G.: It's... I...!

Yanagi R.: "It's not exactly a _habit, _per se. I simply see it as a reasonable means of punishment for unreasonable actions." ...is what Genichirou was going to say.

Jackal K.: Yeah, he does slap someone once in a while. All of us Regulars have gotten slapped at some point. Even Yukimura-buchou.

Kirihara A.: EH? Even BUCHOU?

Sanada G.: TARUNDORU!

Yukimura S.: Genichirou. Answer Akaya's question.

Sanada G.: I didn't...! Because it...! But he...! ...yes.

Yukimura S.: How cute, you're blushing.

**Dearest Akaya-san,  
>Why are your eyes red when you're in Devil Mode? Did you get sore eyes? Kidding... I mean... Ugh... Please don't get mad at me! :O ...why do you want to hurt people? D: ... (Aww.)<strong>

Kirihara A.: Again with the 'dead-beer moat'! I'm not falling for it this time, Niou-sempai!

Jackal K.: No, seriously, though, Akaya. You do have a Devil Mode, but it's not the mass killing spree thing Niou pulled last time.

Kirihara A.: Yeaaah, no. Not listening.

Marui B.: Just listen! Buchou, do something about him!

Yukimura S.: Akaya, if you listen, I'll make sure that Genichirou doesn't give you any form of punishment until we graduate. I'll also throw in Bunta's stash of green apple bubble gum. How about it?

Kirihara A.: ...fine.

Marui B.: HEY! That's _my_ gum!

Yukimura S.: That's the price of service, Bunta. Maybe we'll think things through next time, hmm?

Yanagi R.: Devil Mode is a state you enter when under high pressure, injured, or angered. You lose any and all moral reasoning within yourself and in turn resort to injuring the opponent to ensure their loss of the match. Your hair turns white, your blood pressure raises and turns your skin red, the whites of your eyes go bloodshot, and you're prone to bleeding. However, it is ineffective against me and has potentially life-threatening side effects. But, as previously stated, your mind goes into overdrive, and thus you lose the capacity to retain memories of Devil Mode. It is advisable that you work on your temper to prevent further use of Devil Mode.

Kirihara A.: ...

Niou M.: ...? Brat?

Kirihara A.: THAT'S ALMOST AS BAD AS KILLING PEOPLE! AAUUUGH!

Sanada G.: _Tarundoru!_

Yukimura S.: Now's not the time, Genichirou.

Jackal K.: Calm down, Akaya! You haven't hurt too many people, and you're usually fine after the match! Well, after you wake up from passing out, but still!

Yanagi R.: To answer the question, Akaya's blood pressure rises when in Devil Mode, turning both eyes and skin bloodshot.

Kirihara A.: I DON'T WANT TO HURT PEOPLE!

Niou M.: Conciously, anyway.

Yagyuu H.: I suggest we dismiss any further questioning of Akaya-kun's Devil Mode.

Jackal K.: Seriously. You're going to traumatize the kid.

Marui B.: Traumatize HIM? What about ME? Buchou just single-handedly finished off about ten thousand yen's worth of my gum! This is all YOUR fault, Haru!

Niou M.: _Piyo~_

Sanada G.: _Tarundoru!_

Yukimura S.: Before this gets even _more_ out of hand, thank you, LunarChan, for taking the time to question everyone.

Marui B.: Pfft. More like traumatize us.

Jackal K.: Ne, Yanagi, do you still have any of Inui's juice? Maybe we can knock out the kid and hopefully make him forget all of this.

* * *

><p>From LunarChan-san to the Prevailer of Random:<p>

**Dearest AUTHOR OF THIS FIC,  
>Please include my questions, ne? Ne? I am hoping. :)<strong>

RP: Hmm... A bit late for that question now, isn't it, dear?

* * *

><p><strong>Again, I'm extremely sorry that it took this long to update. But I still got two weeks of summer left, okay? I can update more often and maybe get up some more stories. Not to mention read more stories. ^^<strong>

**本当 に ありがとう ございます!**


	8. shiraishireiya

**Hey guys! How are you? What? It's been a week already? How did that happen? Whoops, haha...**

**I really don't have any reasons as to why this is so late... Sorry. I'm an idiot. ;x;**

**Anyway...**

* * *

><p>From shiraishireiya-san to the Princes of Rikkai ([less than]3):<p>

**Yukimura,  
>Ne, why are you keeping poisonous flowers in the rooftop garden? I saw it in Pair Puri. You know... Niou can use them for his tricks.<strong>

Yukimura S.: Oh dear. The fangirls know? Pity—I was hoping to silence them without having to use Nature's Last Resort.

Kirihara A.: What? BUCHOU KILLS PEOPLE?

Yanagi R.: Belladonnas, or Deadly Nightshade, can cause delirium and hallucinations. Indian Oleanders are one of the most potent plants in the world and can actually kill the average adult if consumed in a certain amount. A cousin of the Pheasant's Eye grown by Seiichi, still being researched, is poisonous and can cause vomiting, diarrhea, slow pulse, collapsing, and if untreated, cease of aortic functioning. Unfortunately, the rooftop garden is being closely watched and not much information regarding the vegetation growth there is available.

Marui B.: So... That means there could be _more_ poisonous plants up there?

Yagyuu H.: Potentially, yes.

Jackal K.: Niou, don't go up there. If Buchou's plotting, we can't have _you_ killing fangirls, too.

Niou M.: _Puri~ _I wouldn't do that, anyway. There are guidelines, rules, and limits to Tricksterhood, and they're tight as hell.

Kirihara A.: BUCHOU KILLS _GIRLS_?

Sanada G.: _Tarundoru!_ This is why—

**Sanada,  
>Where did '<em>tarundoru<em>' come from? And did you really slap Yukimura once? :o**

Sanada G.: —I had to— ...never mind.

Yukimura S.: Sorry, Genichirou. What were you saying? You got cut off.

Sanada G.: ...I said 'never mind'...

Yukimura S.: Fine. Be that way. Renji?

Yanagi R.: _'Tarundoru' _means 'don't slack off'. A very fitting catchphrase, if you will. As for what Genichirou was saying earlier, he was referring to May 21st of our first year in middle school.

Jackal K.: May 21st... Sanada's birthday?

Marui B: Oh, SNAP! You're talking about _that_, aren't you? HA! Poor Sanada's gone pale!

Niou M.: _Piyo~ That_ was better any any of the pranks I've pulled so far. I'll have to try harder to beat _that_.

Yagyuu H.: Ah, I remember _that_ day. Young, naïve little Genichirou-kun. Even though it's ungentlemanly, we shall _never_ let you live _that_ down.

Kirihara A.: What is this _that_ you keep talking about?

Niou M.: Right, Bakaya doesn't know.

Marui B.: RENJI! EXPLAIN!

Yanagi R.: May 20th; Sanada Genichirou, 12, yells '_tarundoru_' unknowingly at Yukimura Seiichi, 13, for missing practice the day previous. However, Seiichi was absent for treatment at the hospital. May 21st; Yukimura Seiichi presents a gift of edible flowers to Sanada Genichirou for his 13th birthday. Not remembering he yelled at Seiichi, Genichirou took the gift and nearly consumed it. Luckily, some senior members of the Gardening Club arrived in time to prevent any... _fatalities_. When he learned of the gift's poisonous nature, Genichirou...er, _shrieked*_ and proceeded to slap Seiichi.

Kirihara A.: EH? Fukubuchou really did that? No wonder you won't let him live this down!

Yukimura S.: Well, I'm off to find a new use for poisonous plants.

Sanada G.: ..._tarundoru_?

**Yanagi,  
>Er... how come you can see with your eyes closed? (Like Fuji from Seigaku...) Just asking~<strong>

Yanagi R.: It's a trained condition. The following is a recap from a previous email:

_**Dear Yanagi,  
>How can you walk, gather data, or play tennis without opening your eyes?<strong>_

_Yanagi R.: Ah. ...that is information which is classified so highly it's nearly taboo to speak of it._

_Yukimura S.: How cute, you're blushing._

_Kirihara A.: Are you going to say that to everyone, Buchou?_

_Yukimura S.: Yes. Why?_

_Kirihara A.: Just asking! I didn't mean anything by it!_

_Niou M.: Actually, he keeps his eyes closed because he's got killer lazer vision._

_Kirihara A.: Really?_

_Jackal K.: No, not really! Niou! Stop messing with him!_

_Yagyuu H.: The reason Yanagi-kun keeps his eyes closed is because he is simply comfortable that way. God knows what the fangirls are going to do when they see his eyes open._

_Marui B.: Eh? That's so mean, Yanagi! Escaping and leaving us to fend for ourselves!_

_Yanagi R.: Your revenge is fearsome, but the fangirls are scarier._

Yanagi R.: End recap.

Marui B.: Psh. It doesn't change the fact that you're only doing that to avoid the fangirls, you jerk.

Yanagi R.: It also doesn't change the fact that the fangirls are scarier than maybe even Seiichi.

Yukimura S.: Agreed. Fangirls are the only creatures I fear.

**Niou,  
>I love you! Will you marry me? :)) Kidding~ Care to tell us the secret to being a great trickster?<strong>

Niou M.: _Mochiron, _babe. (Note: Of course.)

Yagyuu H.: Niou-kun, you can't get married until you're sixteen, and even then you require parental consent.

Niou M.: I know that, Yagyuu. You're no fun. First step to being a trickster: get a sense of humor. Second: don't be intimidated.

Kirihara A.: Intimidated by what?

Sanada G.: _Tarundoru!_

Kirihara A.: Gya!

Niou M.: By people yelling at you like lunatics, Bakaya.

Jackal K.: ...go on.

Niou M.: That's all.

Marui B.: What?

Niou M.: Other than that, being a trickster is completely up to you. Don't rely on others.

Yukimura S.: And you said before that tricksters can't use poisonous plants, right?

Niou M.: Mm-hmm. Poison isn't tricky; it's downright sadistic.

Yanagi R.: Masaharu, I thank you for being the first one to answer their own question. ...lazy assholes.

**Marui,  
>How come you do not get diabetes from eating sweets?<strong>

Marui B.: BECAUSE!

Yukimura S.: Stop being shy, Bunta. The sooner you get it over with, the better.

Yanagi R.: I'm not answering for others anymore.

Marui B.: Urk... oh, FINE! I eat sweets before matches because it helps make up for my lack of stamina! Satisfied?

Yukimura S.: Yes, very. Thank you.

Marui B.: You'd better be, you ass. I popped some gum into my mouth when we started practice and Sanada slapped me before ANYbody could explain that I _couldn't move_. Then Sanada slapped me _again_ for not realizing you practically tried to _kill _me with your stupid pansies.

**Yagyuu,  
>How come you can manage your Doubles partner easily? Just wondering... ^_^<strong>

Yagyuu H.: Wondering about what you don't know is fine, dear girl. But I'm not really managing Niou-kun. It's more like I ask him to do something, and based on how he feels about it, he either listens to me or ignores me. For the most part, he ignores requests regarding pranks, girls, and bothering Akaya-kun.

Niou M.: Hey, I listen to you when you tell me not to hurt anyone with my pranks, so you can't say I don't listen to you about that.

Yagyuu H.: The only pranks I reprimand you about, Niou-kun, usually involve a girl and more than usually end with Akaya-kun being slapped on account of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Kirihara A.: Maybe he'd listen if Buchou put poison in his water bottle...

**Jackal,  
>Why are you shaving before a match when you're bald? :O<strong>

Marui B.: Ouch.

Jackal K.: Why do people keep asking me about this? Just because I prefer to shave it off doesn't mean it won't grow back! I'm not an old person! I get stubbles every now and then!

Yanagi R.: You were thinking _"But more 'then' than 'now'..."_ weren't you?

Yagyuu H.: Perhaps we should also prohibit questioning of Jackal-kun's hair type preference as well.

**Akaya,  
>Are you really 'innocent' (like other fanfics say...) and being treated like a baby in the team?<strong>

Kirihara A.: Uh, I... guess? What is she talking about, sempai-tachi?

Niou M.: She's asking if you're an idiot and if you're immature, brat.

Kirihara A.: Oh. ...hey!

Yagyuu H.: Not exactly, Niou-kun—

Niou M.: At least he understands that way, Yagyuu.

Jackal K.: Yes, Akaya really doesn't know about... _Devil Mode..._ and he wouldn't hurt anyone otherwise. He's a good kid, seriously.

Yanagi R.: And yes. Akaya is the only second-year among us, for obvious reasons making him the 'baby' of the team.

Yukimura S.: He's our precious baby boy. ^^

Yanagi R.: And Seiichi's use of an emoticon means—

Sanada G.: _TARUNDORU!_

Yanagi R.: Precisely.

* * *

><p><strong>*Sanada shrieking: According to the Regulars, it sounded like how he says "Valentine Day <em>KHIIIEEEEEEESSSSS! KHIIIIEEEEEEESSSS!<em>" in Niou's version of the song Valentine Kiss.**

**Seriously, sorry about the long wait...**

**But high school (for me) starts in less than a week. Oh joy. ...:D**


	9. sapphire wind

**Oh SNAP! Two updates in one day? I must really love you guys!**

**(That or I'm seriously bored. But the first one sounds better. :3 JK [lessthanthree])**

_**Barentain Dei Kiss~**_

* * *

><p>From sapphire wind-san to the Princes (and Princess) of Fudomine:<p>

**Tachibana Kippei,  
>Between Momoshiro and Kamio, who do you prefer to be Ann's boyfriend?<strong>

Tachibana K.: Kamio. What is this question implying?

Kamio A.: It's not _implying_ ANYTHING!

Tachibana K.: Oh, so you're saying that you really _do_ have a crush on Ann. Is that _right_?

Tachibana A.: Sh-shut up, nii-san! It wasn't only Kamio-kun mentioned in the question!

Tachibana K.: Yes, but he's from a different school. I can't exactly do anything about him, Ann. But _you_, Kamio, you didn't even bother to tell your buchou you had a cruch on his darling little sister?

Kamio A.: Shinji noticed it! I was kinda hoping you'd just catch on!

Tachibana A.: Kamio-kun, you pretty much just told him that you _do_ have a crush on me. ...good luck.

Tachibana K.: ...in any case, I'd prefer Takeshi. He's a trustworthy guy, and I bet if _I_ were his _trusted _buchou, _he'd _tell me if _he_ had a crush on Ann.

Tachibana A.: Mou, nii-san! Don't make decisions fueled by anger!

Ishida T.: It was nice knowing you, Akira.

Kamio A.: NO! DON'T LET HIM KILL ME!

**Tachibana Ann,  
>Who do you like more, Momoshiro or Kamio?<strong>

Tachibana A.: Well, truth be told, I like them both. I just haven't told either of them that because it's fun to see them compete over me. Plus, it's funny that they think no one else knows about their painfully obvious crushes. Ha, boys are such a tease. But if the conversation between nii-san and Kamio-kun goes on and worse comes to wear, I suppose I'd choose Takeshi-kun. Honestly, why choose a dead man over a live one when your feelings are mutual?

**Kamio Akira,  
>Why do you hate Momoshiro so much?<strong>

Kamio A.: Isn't that obvious? He's going to take Ann-chan from me and destroy my chances of being with her!

Mori T.: Truth be told, when her older brother is Buchou, it's not like you had much of a chance anyway.

Kamio A.: Whose side are you on?

Sakurai M.: ...Momo's...?

Kamio A.: What about you, Shinji? You wouldn't abandon me, right?

Ibu S.: ...

Kamio A.: NOW, of ALL times, you have NOTHING to SAY? Why do you guys HATE me? You know, who needs you! I can't win! That peach bastard took my love life AND my friends!

**Ibu Shinji,  
>Don't you feel ignored when you keep on talking to yourself in such a low tone of voice?<strong>

Ibu S.: Why does everyone keep asking me about my speech habit? If I want to talk like this, I'll talk like this... It's not like I want people to ignore me, but they notice me even if I talk like this. How troublesome. Nothing special is going to happen if they notice me. They're probably trying to get pity out of me. Why else would they notice me? They probably thought that if they notice me, I'd pity them for being lonely enough to notice me... How rude. I'm not lonely. I meet more people through tennis than they probably ever will in their entire lives. I have all the friends I need, and I won't pity such superficial people. They're just annoying. The people who matter notice me without asking for pity. They're the only people I'll ever acknowledge... Besides that brat who got hurt in a match against me to gain pity points. What a troublesome first year. He had the nerve to do that and still beat me with one eye. What was the point of getting pity when he could've won so easily...?

Uchimura K.: Why doesn't anybody ever even _remember _us, let alone ask us questions?

* * *

><p><strong>BAM! Double update! See you guys soon!<strong>


	10. Donatello8696

**But I bet you didn't expect to see (?) me this soon! HA! SURPRISE BULK UPDATE!**

**IN ANY CASE!**

* * *

><p>From Donatello8696-san to the Princes of Seigaku:<p>

**Dear Ryoma,  
>How can you stand being followed endlessly by the Freshman Trio, Tomoka, and Sakuno (no offense to these characters)? I don't think I'd have that kind of patience.<strong>

Echizen R.: Hn. I don't mind being followed by _one _of them endlessly.

Osakada T.: Ryoma-sama, you're so sweet! You're talking about—

Horio S.: Obviously, he's talking about _me,_ you loud-mouthed fangirl!

Osakada T.: I wasn't talking about you, unibrowed freak!

Horio S.: W-well, I bet Echizen wasn't talking about _you!_

Osakada T.: I wasn't talking about me, _either_, genius!

Oishi S.: Then, was he possibly talking about...?

Fuji S.: Saa... That _would_ make sense, wouldn't it?

Kawamura T.: Are we talking about the same guy?

Echizen R.: Who said it was a guy?

Kikumaru E.: HA! So it IS a girl, nya, Ochibi! I bet it's Sa—

Momoshiro T.: It _has_ to be, Sempai! Ah, to be young and in lo—

Kaidoh K.: Let Sempai at least finish her name once! You keep interrupting!

Momoshiro T.: HYPOCRITE! _You_ interrupted ME!

Tezuka K.: _Yudan sezu ni ikou!_

Inui S.: It wouldn't be illogical to assume that Echizen feels only _he_ can say _her_ name uninterrupted.

Ryuuzaki S.: A-ano, s-so then who is it, Ryoma-kun?

Kikumaru E.: Easy! It's Sa—

Echizen R.: _Mada mada dane._

**Dear Kaidoh,  
>Why such a strong rivalry with Momoshiro over a dirty bandana? x)<strong>

Kaidoh K.: IT'S NOT DIRTY! IT'S PERFECTLY CLEAN! FFFSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Momoshiro T.: And that's exactly _why, _Mamushi! That bandana was dirty! You were training so hard that all your sweat drenched it, then you were stupid and kept going without keeping yourself hydrated, so you collapsed and the dirt stuck to the bandana! Not to mention to blood from hitting your head! We were worried; you could've DIED!

Kaidoh K.: I didn't—what?

Momoshiro T.: Yeah! You're shy and people are always afraid of you, so you have to try really hard to make them respect you! But you just have to give them the best you've got! But you have to take care of yourself, too!

Kaidoh K.: You... you were _worried?_

Momoshiro T.: Well, who am I supposed to compete against if you're disoriented? Everyone else is too weak!

Kaidoh K.: You have to take care of yourself, too! You try too hard! How many times have you overused your muscles and gotten cramps? One day, you're going to pull a muscle!

Momoshiro T.: Well, I'd be more worried about you if I were you!

Kaidoh K.: What was that?

Momoshiro T.: And your bandana really WAS dirty!

Kaidoh K.: It was not!

Momoshiro T.: It was so!

Kaidoh K.: Was NOT!

Momoshiro T.: Was SO!

Kaidoh K.: NOT!

Momoshiro T.: SO!

**Dear Momoshiro,  
>Why do you always try and provoke Kaidoh? Personally, I think most of the arguments you two have are hilarious! xD But why though?<strong>

Momoshiro T.: Because this stupid Mamushi and his stupid overactive thinking always jumps to stupid conclusions that I'm trying to pick a stupid fight! And our fights aren't funny; they're serious!

Kaidoh K.: Who're you calling Mamushi, Peach-ass*? All that comes out of your mouth are insults you don't have to think about!

**Dear Eiji,  
>How did the bandage on your face go from your nose to your cheek?<strong>

Kikumaru E.: ...because my second older sister told me it "looked cool" when I was starting middle school... And I believed her, nya!

Oishi S.: Really? I thought it was was because you fell when you were horsing around during tennis practice.

Kikumaru E.: Hoi, Oishi-mama, that's how I got cut on my cheek! And then you made me wear a band-aid for about six months, then I got used to having a band-aid there and I keep putting band-aids there because it feels weird if I don't.

Fuji S.: That story's adorable.

Kawamura T.: YOU were that kid? The one I hit in the face with my Burning Serve? Sorry, Eiji!

Kikumaru E.: Eh, no way! That was YOU? Wow, Taka! You had some serious power even back then!

Inui S.: And Tezuka's input upon hearing this story will be...

Tezuka K.: You wouldn't have gotten hit if you didn't let your guard down.

**Dear Oishi,  
>What's with the obsession over meat? xD<strong>

Oishi S.: Meat? MEAT? IT'S NOT JUST MEAT, IT'S YAKINIKU! IT'S AN UNDER-APPRECIATED FORM OF ART! THE TEMPERATURE, THE TIMING, THE JUICE, THE TYPE OF MEAT, AND THE ORIGIN OF THE MEAT ALL CONTRIBUTE TO ITS TASTE! IT'S NOT JUST "MEAT"!

Fuji S.: Maa, Syuuichiro, calm down. I'm sure she didn't mean to offend you or your meat.

Kikumaru E.: O-Oishi-mama, she's sorry! CALM DOWN!

Momoshiro T.: SEMPAI, HE'S NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN IF YOU KEEP YELLING!

Kaidoh K.: FFSSSSHHHHHHHHH! YOU'RE YELLING, TOO, PEACH-ASS!

Echizen R.: _Mada mada dane._

Oishi S.: YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, ECHIZEN! THE YAKINIKU HASN'T COOKED ENOUGH YET!

Tezuka K.: ...

Kawamura T.: Fuji, Inui! Do you have any ideas on how we can calm him down?

Fuji S.: Calming down, no. Knocking out, yes.

Inui S.: Sorry, Fuji, you've run my Inui Juice supply dry.

Fuji S.: Hmmm... Maybe we can borrow some poison from Seiichi.

Tezuka K.: Fuji. ..._yudan sezu ni ikou._

**Dear Kawamura,  
>Did you still have the Burning Power when you did karate? (I think I read somewhere that you were in karate with Akutsu, but I don't remember.)<strong>

Kawamura T.: Yeah, I used to do karate with Jin. But I didn't have my Burning Power yet, haha... I only got that when I joined the tennis club during my first year of middle school.

Momoshiro T.: So you really DID knock out Kikumaru-sempai!

Kawamura T.: Yeaaah... Sorry about that, Eiji.

Kikumaru E.: Don't mind, don't mind!

**Dear Inui,  
>How come your eyes are hidden behind your glasses but Tezuka's aren't? O.o<strong>

Inui S.: It's an old technique I came up with when I was on a Doubles team with Renji. In return, he taught me Data Tennis.

Fuji S.: Ah, the Evasion Technique?

Inui S.: Correct. We decided that if we ever were to become serious about tennis and go to the Nationals, which we did, then we would have to find a way to make sure we encountered as few fangirls as possible. Therefore, we concluded that we must hide our eyes.

Kikumaru E.: Hide your eyes?

Inui S.: Yes. If you'll notice, since our eyes are seldom seen, we have a significantly less amount of fangirls than other geniuses whose eyes HAVE been seen. Take Fuji and Tezuka for example.

Momoshiro T.: And you left the ones who couldn't do anything about their eyes to fend for themselves, huh? You're a cruel, twisted man, Sempai.

**Dear Tezuka,  
>Why choose Kaidoh as the next buchou (no complaints here =D)? And I want to request that you SMILE. 8D<strong>

Tezuka K.: Because even though Momoshiro's potential as buchou was understandably excelling, his laid-back attitude and friendly demeanor would allow for slacking. Kaidoh would be the best choice, if not the only other option, because he keeps a strict training menu and will not permit liesurely down time.

Momoshiro T.: Ouch, That kinda hurt, Buchou.

Kaidoh K.: Good. Maybe you'll become more serious about your training.

Momoshiro T.: W-who asked you, Mamushi?

Kaidoh K.: Buchou did. And by Buchou, I mean _me_. 80 laps!

* * *

><p><strong>Hmm. Momo and Kaidoh's fight (the first one, at least) reminds me of <em>The Musical Prince of Tennis: Dream Live 1st.<em>**

**By the way, Peach-ass: momo=peach, shiri=ass. I think Konjiki from Shitenhouji called him this in the OVA episodes... I think. I'm pretty sure.**


	11. Donatello8696 2

**Yeah, I was thinking I could just slam this one in with the previous chapter, but then I realised that that would go against my 'one chapter per question review' policy. That, and I'm just being obnoxious. :3**

**So here is the shortest chapter by far!**

* * *

><p>From Donatello8696-san to <em>a<em> Prince of Seigaku:

**Dear Fuji,  
>You wouldn't hurt me if you found out I forgot to ask you a question, right?<strong>

Fuji S.: ...of course not. Do you take me for a heartless monster? I would never _dream_ of it. Would you care for a bon-bon?

Kikumaru E.: NO! DON'T DO IT! I saw him inject something into it! I'm sorry, Fuji, but putting weird things into people's food without telling them isn't nice!

Inui S.: Smart move, Kikumaru. He injected poison from Yukimura's plants into that bon-bon.

Tezuka K.: Fuji. 100 laps for disorderly conduct.

Fuji S.: Hm. Try being forgotten and see what _you_ wanna do about it, bastards.

* * *

><p><strong>Er...<strong>

**Geh. He's a sadistic genius. Not much I can do about his personality. :/**

**Maybe something happened with Yuuta and Hajime?**


	12. Radiance Within

**BOOM! Here's your update, Radiance! Betcha weren't expecting this many chapters in a day, huh?**

**Surprised?**

* * *

><p>From Radiance Within-san to the Princes of Yamabuki, Fudomine, Shitenhouji, Hyoutei, Seigaku, and Higa:<p>

**Dear Sengoku,  
>Have you ever had a steady girlfriend?<strong>

Sengoku K.: A steady girlfriend...?

Minami K.: No. He hasn't.

Sengoku K.: Hey! That's not true!

Touji M.: Somehow I doubt that.

Minami K.: Oh yeah? What's the longest time you've dated a girl?

Sengoku K.: A year and one month! Beat that, Minami!

Minami K.: How many other girls did you see when you were dating her?

Sengoku K.: ...seven...

Dan T.: That's not good, Sengoku-sempai! You have to have commitment in a relationship, desu!

**Dear Ibu,  
>Is there a particular reason why you mumble so much?<strong>

Ibu S.: Is there a particular reason people are so nosy? They're always asking me questions about why I talk the way I do. No one asks them why they were _born_ the way they were. They're so annoying. I bet they're trying to get pity out of others by saying they know a guy who mumbles incoherently. How rude. They don't ever think about me. _I _have to live knowing there are people who use me to get pity points. That's idiotic. No one's going to give them the time of day if all they do is blame others. Maybe I should just hit them with a Kick Serve when I get the chance—

Tachibana K.: Shinji!

Ibu S.: _Sunmason_.

**Dear Zaizen,  
>Do you think you'll ever get an attitude change?<strong>

Zaizen H.: Is there any specific I should have to?

Shiraishi K.: Zaizen! Sorry, he's in a bad mood. He failed his Classis exam. It put a dent in his career as a _tensai._

Zaizen H.: cuz da clasix r toopid n i h8 em

**Dear Atobe,  
>Besides yourself and tennis - is there anything else you obsess about?<strong>

Atobe K.: No.

Oshitari Y.: Yes.

Mukahi G.: Yes?

Shishido R.: Seriously?

Ootori C.: Well, what is it?

Atobe K.: Oshitari. Don't.

Oshitari Y.: He wants to find a strong-willed girlfriend to share all his wealthy bliss with. There! I said it!

Atobe K.: ...Ore-sama has a new decree. Girls attending Hyoutei shall wear slacks instead of skirts.

Oshitari Y.: NO! The legs! NOT THE LEGS!

**Dear Fuji,  
>Have you ever regretted being the reason as to why Yuuta left Seigaku?<strong>

Fuji S.: Ah, straight to the punch, hm? But I don't think I regret Yuuta leaving. I believe that, had he continued to attend Seigaku, his reputation as my dear _otouto_ would have left little room for improvement. But now that he's going to St. Rudolph, he's improving very quickly! Though occasionally, I do feel a pain in my chest...

Fuji Y.: ...Aniki, that's just the wasabi sushi. Don't exaggerate.

**Dear Rin,  
>Is there a reason why you hate gouya so much?<strong>

Hirakoba R.: 'Cuz Kite makes us eat gouya every time we slack off, or when he's in a bad mood. Both of which are more often than you'd think.

Kite E.: Stop it, Rin. Or I'll make you eat gouya.

Hirakoba R.: See what I mean?

* * *

><p><strong>Oh my. They're a bit touchy, aren't they...? Must be the homework...<strong>

**(Maybe.)**


	13. Radiance Within 2

**SHMOW ZOW! Last update for now—that's all the questions to date. :]**

**Happy with the updates, everyone? *coughRADIANCEcough* I didn't pretend to be doing nothing for an entire week for nothing.**

* * *

><p>From Radiance Within-san to the Princes of Rikkai, Shitenhouji, Fudomine, and Rokkaku:<p>

**Dear Niou,  
>Have you always been a trickster?<strong>

Kirihara A.: YES!

Niou M.: Shut up, Bakaya. The answer's 'no'.

Kirihara A.: NO?

Niou M.: Yes, 'no'. Tricksters start their career sometime during early childhood. Born Tricksters are rare.

Yagyuu H.: Niou-kun, your voice is lowered; stop tricking our only kouhai.

Niou M.: _Puri~_

**Dear Marui,  
>Is it true that you only like girls who give you food?<strong>

Marui B.: What? No! I also like pretty, feminine girls! But if they cook good, that's a bonus!

Jackal K.: Marui, that's kinda... shallow.

Marui B.: Shut up! _You_ like 'em 'charming' with a complexion like _Shirayuki-hime! _(Note: Snow White.)

Kirihara A.: I like cheerful girls!

Niou M.: Yagyuu likes 'em pure and innocent.

Yagyuu H.: Please refrain from making me sound perverted, Niou-kun. Besides, _you _chase after girls who _aren't_ foolish enough to like you.

Niou M.: Yanagi likes girls who are like him; in other words, calculating she-beasts.

Yanagi R.: Niou's words don't hold any untruths, albeit they were very harsh. And, to answer the question on your mind, Seiichi likes girls who are healthy.

Jackal K.: Healthy as in...?

Yanagi R.: Physically and virtually without disease or illness.

Kirihara A.: ...well, that's at least better than Fukubuchou. Some fangirls were complaining that he only yelled '_TARUNDORU!' _at them and got red-faced with anger.

Yukimura S.: Haha, no. Genichirou was red-faced with _blushing_. He was actually very happy that they bothered to ask an 'emotionless rock' like him, weren't you, Genichirou?

Sanada G.: _TARUNDORU!_

Yagyuu H.: Then, if you don't mind my inquiring, what type _does _Sanada-kun prefer?

Marui B.: Well, he didn't say anything about it and he _won't_ say anything about it—right, Fukubuchou?

Sanada G.: _TARUNDORU!_

Marui B.: That settles it. His preferred type is _any_ girl who is _breathing_.

**Dear Kenya,  
>Why do you bleach your hair?<strong>

Shiraishi K.: Our little ladykiller here is trying to impress. Well, you _do_ have to nab 'em quick or they'll all be taken... "No speed, no life", right?

Oshitari K.: Sh-shut up, Shiraishi!

**Dear Tachibana,  
>Would you approve of Kamio dating Ann?<strong>

Tachibana K.: ...

Kamio A.: Wh-what?

Tachibana K.: Kamio. You and Momoshiro. If I find _either_ of you within a two metre radius of Ann, I'll force Ishida to kill you with his Hadokyuu.

Tachibana A.: Jeez, nii-san. _You_ shut up and don't hurt either one of them or I'll tell kaa-san and tou-san that you've got perverted magazines in your room.

Tachibana K.: ? But I don't have any—

Tachibana A.: Don't you? I have my ways, nii-san. Besides, whether or not Kamio or Momo or any other boy is dating me is _my_ decision. Why don't you just go join Yagyuu-san and ogle 'innocent'-looking girls?

**Dear Shiraishi,  
>Why do you dislike fawning fangirls so much? (From Pair Puri Picture Drama 5.)<strong>

Shiraishi K.: Because that's one of the things I hate the most—if _I _want a girl, I'll go look for one myself. I don't need girls throwing themselves at me like they're desperate. It's unbecoming. Besides, _men_ are the slaves, aren't they?

Konjiki K.: That's right~ Don't you agree, Yuuuuu~kun?

Hitouji Y.: Easy for you to say! You always get to play the _girl!_

**Dear Saeki,  
>Do you feel comfortable being so popular?<strong>

Saeki K.: Of course! It's the easiest way to tell who's with me for personality and who's with me for looks.

Aoi K.: Keh! That's not fair, Saeki! Why do you have so many girls at your disposal? _HOW_ do you have so many girls at your disposal?

Saeki K.: Because my older sister taught me how to charm females.

Amane H.: 善し由。 ...pfft. (_Yoshi yoshi: _good reason.)

Kurobane H.: Oi!

**Dear Davide,  
>Will you ever stop making puns?<strong>

Kurobane H.: He _will _for as long as he's knocked out.

Kisarazu R.: I think she meant _ever._

Kurobane H.: Oh. Probably not then, unless he gets a brain transplant.

**Dear Aoi,  
>Why do you care so much about girls liking you? Isn't that a bit superficial?<strong>

Aoi K.: Because the only girls I see on a regular basis are my grandma and my mom, and my older brothers are disgusting. A girl sure would be a nice change of pace...

Itsuki M.: Doesn't that just mean you're secretly a lonely person?

Aoi K.: No it doesn't!

Saeki K.: Yes it does! Nee-san told me that if a boy's ever _that_ desperate, they're lonely!

Kisarazu R.: Now you're just reminding me of Atsushi. ...when Aoi said 'brothers', not the desperate or lonely parts.

Syuudo S.: What about _me?_ No one even ever _remembers_ that I'm on the team!

Aoi K.: Hmm... Well, good luck with that! There are some cute girls over there—

Saeki K.: No, you're not doing it right! You can't look so desperate all the time! You see, you gotta...

Kisarazu R.: ...I'm gonna go give Atsushi a call.

* * *

><p><strong>Bah, this ended up being three days later than I planned...<strong>

**Blame my parents. They actually made me leave the house (and computer) for long amounts of time over the weekend. I was supposed to have it up Friday... D:**

**Oh well, it's up now.**

**HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!**

**本当 に ありがとう ございます!**

**~Randomness**


	14. Blinded Eyes

**Whoo! Got more questions answered! Hope this makes your day!**

**Okay, fine. It's been... two months and a day since the last update... -_-" But hey, adjusting to high school isn't easy! (I'll try to get more updates while I'm in class, okay?)  
><strong>

**And don't worry about the number of questions you asked (you asked 24 questions). It's fun!**

* * *

><p>From Blinded Eyes-san to the Princes of Seigaku, Fudomine, St. Rudolph, Hyoutei, Rokkaku, and Yamabuki:<strong><br>**

**Dear Tezuka,  
>Are you interested in dating at your age?<strong>

Tezuka K.: Truthfully, no. There are more important things to worry about than a relationship when you're fourteen.

Fuji S.: Such as...?

Tezuka K.: Tennis practice, tennis equipment, the budget we have for tennis equipment, upcoming tennis tournaments, and keeping your grades in school up. As well as other things.

Fuji S.: So you like honest, hard-working girls?

Tezuka K.: ...no.

Fuji S.: How cute, you're blushing.

Kikumaru E.: You sound just like Yukimura from Rikkai, Fujiko!

Inui S.: When asked about type preference, Tezuka is a 'no-means-yes' man.

Oishi S.: So he really _does_ like honest, hard-working girls?

Kawamura T.: Those are good qualities!

Tezuka K.: _Y-yudan sezu ni ikou!_

Oishi S.: Did you just...?

Fuji S.: Haha! You stuttered, Kunimitsu.

**Dear Fuji,**  
><strong>People condemn you as sadistic. Any particular reasons as to why?<strong>

Fuji S.: Hmm. Not any that I can think of.

Kikumaru E.: LIES! You tried to kill Donnie-chan in that one chapter when she forgot to ask you a question!

Inui S.: Unfortunately, Fuji, the data doesn't lie. You deliberately attempted to cease her existence when she specifically asked you _not_ to.

Momoshiro T.: Sadiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiist...

Fuji S.: Momo, do you want a bon-bon?

Oishi S.: We already told you, no poisonous bon-bons!

**Dear Momoshiro,**  
><strong>You do know that eating junk food is bad for your health...right?<strong>

Momoshiro T.: Burgers aren't junk food! They're a delicious source of energy! For tennis! And my starved taste buds!

Fuji S.: I'm guessing you don't want any poisonous bon-bons, then.

Oishi S.: ENOUGH with the lethal sweets!

Kaidoh K.: Fffsshhhhhhh...

Echizen R.: _Mada mada dane._

**Dear Kikumaru,**  
><strong>Why are you so adorable?<strong>

Kikumaru E.: Because I like—

Oishi S.: Acrobatics?

Kawamura T.: Tennis?

Inui S.: As Tezuka thinks sarcastically, 'punishment laps'?

Fuji S.: Poisonous bon-bons?

Kikumaru E.: No! None of those, except maybe the first two. But I'm adorable because I'm the youngest in my family! And everyone knows the baby's the cutest. Nya?

**Dear Ibu,**  
><strong>I've heard that you like foreigner girls. Why is that?<strong>

Ibu S.: ...

Kamio A.: Whoa! You've rendered the ever-rambling Shinji SPEECHLESS!

Tachibana K.: Hm... You've done perhaps one of the most impossible things in the tennis world. Good job.

Mori T.: Really, you guys are harsh.

Sakurai M.: Whose side are you on?

Ibu S.: Exploiting my weakness to satisfy your boredom later on. You're a despicable lot.

Tachibana A.: _Kami_, just answer the question, Shinji! You're not going to die!

Ibu S.: ... I like foreigner girls be-because... when I was in fourth grade, a Chinese transfer student told me in broken Japanese that sh-she liked how I talk...

Kamio A.: He also got confessed to by her. Didn't you, Shinji?

Tachibana K.: I see. Ladykiller at ten, huh, Shinji? Ah, to be young...

Ibu S.: ...!

Mori T.: Seriously, cut it out! Shinji's turning pink!

Sakurai M.: Probably a mixture of pale horror and horrified blushes.

**Dear Tachibana,**  
><strong>Did you ever regret leaving Kyuushu?<strong>

Tachibana K.: Ah, the old event again? I suppose I do feel sad that I missed out on some things in Kyuushu—

Ibu S.: _Sunmason_.

Tachibana K.: —BUT, because I left, I was able to atone for what I did to Chitose. I don't regret coming to Tokyo because I was able to meet the members of Fudomine and lead them, as a team, to the top.

Kamio A.: Buchou...!

Tachibana A.: Nii-chan, you guys should think about starting your own drama. Yeesh.

**Dear Kamio,**  
><strong>If you don't ask Ann-chan out soon, Momo's gonna steal her.<strong>

Kamio A.: Like I don't already freakin' know that!

Ibu S.: He's also afraid of Tachibana-san ripping his innards out. But An-chan is waiting this out, to see who the stronger one is.

Tachibana A.: Well, I deserve the best, don't I?

Tachibana K.: Behold, the true terror of my little sister. She's like Fuji and Yukimura's demon apprentice.

**Dear Yuuta,**  
><strong>Who was more popular with the girls, you or your brother?<strong>

Fuji Y.: Tch. Why does _everyone_ have to compare me to Aniki in _everything?_

Mizuki H.: Nfu~ I believe I'm more popular amongst the girls.

Akazawa Y.: Shaddap, Hajime! No one asked _you_ ANYTHING!

Yanagisawa S.: _Dane! _Our little _kouhai's _just DYING to be a ladykiller, _dane! _Very well, then, I'll give some pointers, Yuu-

Fuji Y.: I don't need help from someone who's got ZERO experience and has a crush on Ane-ue! (1) Besides, I don't need a girlfriend! All of Aniki's stupid rejected fangirls throw themselves at me and it's just annoying!

Akazawa Y.: Well, you said you don't _need_ one, but do you _want _one?

Fuji Y.: ...!

Mizuki H.: Nfu~ It appears that Yuuta's preferred type is, and I quote, "whoever I fall for will be my preferred type".

Fuji Y.: When did I ever say that!

Fuji S.: Aw, how cute. You're blushing.

Fuji Y.: ANIKI! Wh-when did you get here?

Fuji S.: ..._saa. _(2)

**Dear Atsushi,**  
><strong>Did you leave Rokkaku partly because you were jealous of your brother?<strong>

Kisarazu A.: ? No. Mizuki-san just asked me to come to St. Rudolph, so I did. I know he meant to ask Ryou, but I got to meet everyone and had fun while I was here.

Kisarazu R.: Mm-hm. Twins very rarely get jealous of one another. Ne, Atsushi?

Aoi K.: More importantly, why'd you come all the way to Rokkaku just to answer this question? Saeki was in the middle of teaching me how to pick up girls!

Kurobane H.: Oi! Don't you think there are more important things, _Buchou?_

**Dear Mizuki,**  
><strong>If you liked a girl, would you stalk her and try to get her data too?<strong>

Mizuki H.: Nfu~ Of course—

Fuji Y.: You would.

Mizuki H.: —I would not.

Yanagisawa S.: NOT, _dane?_

Akazawa Y.: Even _I'm _surprised at this, Hajime.

Fuji Y.: What the hell! So you'd stalk everyone on this entire _planet _EXCEPT for the girl you _like? _What gives!

Mizuki H.: Fools! Collecting data is something done when there is no point in wasting time learning information from the subject themselves. If a man _truly _cared for his girl, he would give her all of his time to learn about her from _her, _winning her over from what only she's told him. Simply trying to win her over without building her trust for you... How could you expect her to give her heart to a stranger, hmm? Thus is my logic.

Kisarazu A.: That was... unexpectedly deep and undeniably the truth. And here I thought you were just a creeper.

Mizuki H.: Well, that's what I _would _do. I just don't have a girl yet. That being said, I'm off!

Fuji Y.: Off to find a girl?

Mizuki H.: Nfu~ No. Off to collect more data for our next tournament.

Akazawa Y.: For the love of— No _wonder_ he doesn't have a girl. Who in her right mind would trust her heart to a creeper?

**Dear Ootori,**  
><strong>You seem so much taller than the other 2nd years. Why is that? And would you consider Shishido-san more of a friend or more of a brother?<strong>

Oshitari Y.: The only person on the team the kid's _not _taller than is a fellow second year.

Atobe K.: _Naa_, Kabaji?

Kabaji M.: _Ussu._

Shishido R.: OI! Let Choutaro answer his own question!

Ootori C.: Eheh, it's alright, Sempai. Actually, I don't know why I'm so tall. My best guess is that growing up listening to and playing classical music stimulated my pituitary gland. Or something like that...?

Mukahi G.: Yeesh, kid. Don't hurt yourself. Next question?

Ootori C.: Er, right! Hm... I suppose I see Sempai as the nii-san I never had. But that's probably because I'm always over st Sempai's house playing with him, his older brother, and his dog. Since otou-san's always working on his court cases, nee-san plays with her lonely-person cat, and okaa-san's always trying to find her a boyfriend... So yes, I consider Sempai to be a surrogate brother because I'm usually by myself.

Oshitari Y.: Ain't that sweet? But ya gotta learn how to get to the point faster, kid.

**Dear Shishido,**  
><strong>I've heard that you like tomboyish girls. Is there a particular reason why?<strong>

Shishido R.: WHAT? Wh-who told you that? That's stupid!

Ootori C.: Sempai, you have no place to be denying this so blatantly when your face could put a firetruck to shame. Just admit it, okay? There's nothing wrong with preferences. For example, I like sweet, kind girls who don't cheat. What about you guys?

Atobe K.: Ore-sama enjoys a woman who is persistent in every endeavor.

Taki H.: Well, since it's to get Shishido to stop being such a wuss—

Shishido R.: OI!

Taki H.: —I like girls that are competitive. Gakuto?

Mukahi G.: Hmm... I like easy-going girls. Jir—

Akutagawa J.: Girls who are cheerful. It's a nice thing to wake up to.

Oshitari Y.: Your turn, Hiyoshi. If you don't tell, _I_ will—from the top of the school's roof.

Wakashi H.: Ghk! ...d-delicate girls...

Kabaji M.: ..._ussu._

Atobe K.: Kabaji means no type preference; Ore-sama believes he is not searching at the moment. Then, Oshitari, your type?

Oshitari Y.: Ahh... Girls with nice legs.

Ootori C.: What kind of type is that? That's not acceptable! We have to find what your _personality _preference is!

Oshitari Y.: Leave me be! Shishido likes tomboys because one stood up to him and punched him in the face during first year! She gave him a nosebleed then told him to suck it up and left! _That _is a screwed up complex, so I think I should be allowed to like pretty legs! ...ah.

Shishido R.: "Ah" my ass! You gonna tell any _more_ secrets we told you specifically NOT to tell? Huh?

Mukahi G.: What about the time your dog—

Shishido R.: Sh-shut up! I was being sarcastic! NEXT QUESTION!

**Dear Yuushi,**  
><strong>Besides the legs, what other qualities do you like about a girl?<strong>

Ootori C.: According to the previous question's answers, he doesn't _have _any other preferences. So we're talking him on _blindfolded_ dates to find out what sort of personality he likes. ..._right_, sempai-tachi?

Oshitari Y.: Ah, yeah, sure. Geez, kid, you're so _sinister_ sometimes for a poster child of innocence.

Shishido R.: Yeah. Sorry, Choutarou, I'm agreeing with him on this.

Mukahi G.: It's like you've got some kind of demon side, like that Junior from Rikkai!

Atobe K.: Or that girl from Fudomine who refused a date with Ore-sama. Such a she-demon.

**Dear Atobe,**  
><strong>Since you like strong-willed girls but you're also used to everyone respecting you - how would you react if the girl you liked dislikes you?<strong>

Atobe K.: If Ore-sama was rejected by the girl Ore-sama likes...?

Shishido R.: You'd force her?

Ootori C.: WHAT? That's _beyond _evil!

Atobe K.: No! Hear men out before making conclusions from your wild and inaccurate imaginations! Ore-sama wouldn't _make_ his woman do anything. If she dislikes Ore-sama, then she should continue to dislike Ore-sama's advances, as well. After all, Ore-sama finds her stubbornness endearing.

Oshitari Y.: Then you'd live out your life chasing after a woman until you _die? _I'd like to see that.

Atobe K.: Again, _no. _Simply because her resolution is strong doesn't mean Ore-sama can't _break _it.

Wakashi H.: Kch. That's just a fancy way of saying, _'Oshitari's speculation is damn right'_.

**Dear Jiroh,**  
><strong>When you're sleeping...what do you dream about?<strong>

Mukahi G.: ...Jirou? Jirou!

Akutagawa J.: ...hmm? Sorry. Fighting bald wool scarves with bleeding leeks. What is it?

Ootori C.: ...suddenly, I'm not so curious anymore.

Atobe K.: Neither is Ore-sama.

Shishido R.: I can do without bloody wool. Pass.

Akutagawa J.: Then, I'm off to the backyard for a nap.

Oshitari Y.: Makes me wonder if _all _narcoleptic people have odd dreams or if it's just him.

**Dear Kabaji,**  
><strong>Do you ever get tired of serving Atobe?<strong>

Kabaji M.: ..._betsuni_. (3)

Shishido R.: Really? I get sick of his face after five minutes.

Ootori C.: Sempai!

Oshitari Y.: Well, Kabaji's reasoning makes sense... He doesn't really do much else, so I guess he does it out of boredom.

Atobe K.: And despite all your naïve assumptions, Kabaji is _not_ a servant. He's a teammate and colleague.

**Dear Bane,**  
><strong>Why do you always get frustrated with Davide's jokes?<strong>

Kurobane H.: Because they're cheesy and because he comes up with them so often. It's okay at first, but then it gets really annoying. The kids at the playground don't seem to mind though. But that's mostly because they don't get the pun.

Amane H.: But not _everything_ I say is a pun.

Aoi K.: But it would help if you fixed your speech so that less puns came out, right?

Amane H.: 俺のスピ—チをメンド? めんどくさい！ ...pfft. (4)

Kurobane H.: Oi!

**Dear Saeki,**  
><strong>What do you look for in a girl?<strong>

Saeki K.: A lot of today's questions seem to be about the ladies, hmm? Anyway, the thing I look for is that she's always trying to keep tabs on what I do because she can't stop thinking about me. Wouldn't a girl like that be charming?

Kisarazu R.: Girls who are shy are cute, too.

Amane H.: I just want a girl who's the opposite of Bane-chan.

Aoi K.: You mean a delicate-looking badass instead of a badass-looking pansy?

Kurobane H.: Oi!

Amane H.: No, I meant a girl with a _good _sense of humour.

Kurobane H.: OI!

**Dear Kisarazu Ryou,**  
><strong>Do you contemplate cutting your hair?<strong>

Kisarazu R.: I was thinking about it for a while, but then Mizuki made Atsushi cut his hair when he transferred. If I cut cut my hair, too, then it'd just be more trouble for the both of them.

Kisarazu A.: You're so considerate, Nii-san. Thank you.

Mizuki H.: You have my thanks as well, Ryou. It was hard enough when you had the same hairstyle.

Fuji Y.: More importantly, why'd you have to come all the way to St. Rudolph just to answer that question? Tch, you two are such a handful!

**Dear Davide,**  
><strong>Do you make puns at school too?<strong>

Amane H.: Of course. But my head hurts right now, so I can't think of any... You kick freakin' hard, Bane-chan.

Kurobane H.: I have to keep hoping that one day it'll destroy your idiocy.

Amane H.: You're cruel. Ow...

**Dear Dan,**  
><strong>I heard that your preferred type would be aggressive people. But you seem so timid, so why is that?<strong>

Dan T.: Because if the girl's like me, then our relationship would get nowhere, desu! But if she keeps pushing to be with me, then we'll get _somewhere_, desu!

Minami K.: Just hope she isn't blind-aggressive like a _certain idiot _on our team who keeps charging head-long into relationships and causing problems for everyone.

Sengoku K.: There's someone like that on our team? I wonder who it is. They sound dangerous.

Touji M.: ...

Minami K.: ...

Akutsu J.: ...can I beat some sense into this idiot?

Dan T.: No! You can't beat people up you're mad at them, desu!

Sengoku K.: What? Why're you all looking at me like I'm stupid?

**Dear Sengoku,**  
><strong>If a cute girl said that you'd have to change your "player" personality to date her, would you agree to it?<strong>

Sengoku K.: Depends on how cute she is, how many girls I'd have to drop to date her, and how well I like her. But yeah, I guess I would.

Minami K.: ...I seriously hate you right now.

Dan T.: Multiple girlfriends? That's disgusting, Sempai!

Akutsu J.: Even _I_ have morals when it comes to women, you bastard.

Sengoku K.: What? Why're you all glaring at me like you wanna mug me?

**Dear Akutsu,**  
><strong>Smoking at such a young age is bad for you. You should refrain from doing so.<strong>

Akutsu J.: You think I don't know that?

Dan T.: Akutsu-sempai's been trying his best to stop, desu! Right, Sempai?

Sengoku K.: That's good. Maybe when you quit, you can join the tennis club again!

Akustu J.: AH?

Minami K.: Too soon, Sengoku! TOO SOON!

Sengoku K.: Right! Sorry! My bad! Er, please continue to do your best with your goal!

Dan T.: Next, we should work on your temper, Akutsu-sempai!

**Dear Hiyoshi,**  
><strong>Why are you so intent about overpowering people?<strong>

Wakashi H.: Because taking the rank of the people ahead of you is the only way to become stronger!

Shishido R.: Because he's tired of being overshadowed by the others.

Mukahi G.: Aw, striving to be like your wonderful sempai. How... not cool.

Ootori C.: Come on, it's not okay to pick on someone because of their goals!

Atobe K.: Ore-sama will thank you for the e-mails.

Oshitari Y.: Psh. Yeah, exactly like how it's _not_ okay to pick on someone because of their preferences. Legs are SEXY, kid!

* * *

><p><strong>And that's everything! Thank you! I actually got writer's block, and when I tried overcoming it by answering questions, it got worse. Then school started and ha blah blah blah blah. All that frap. Anyway...<strong>

**(1) Ane-ue: a respectful way to say 'older sister', more so than even 'onee-sama'.**

**(2) _...saa:_ Lit. 'Who knows..."**

**(3) _...betsuni:_ Lit. "Not really."**

**(4) 俺のスピ—チをメンド? めんどくさい！: _Ore no supichi wo mendo? _(Mend my speech?) _Mendokusai! _(How bothersome!)  
>This is a rather pitiful pun I came up with while writing this... The pun is on <em>mendo<em>, which can either be the Romanization of the word 'mend' or the Japanese word for 'bother'. (I know, I'm terrible...)**

**Geh, that's it. Hopefully, I can get another one up in a week or less. But I go on a two-week break starting Friday, so keep your toes crossed! (Yes, I mean your toes.)**

**_Arigatou gozaimasu!_**

**~Randomness_Prevails  
><strong>


	15. Blinded Eyes 2

**Schmow zow! I'm back! Here's another chapter for you guys to enjoy.**

**I forgot to mention last chapter, but thank you for being so patient! Stay awesome and don't let school or splitting headaches kill you!**

**This bulk update was supposed to happen on the 25th... of December. But I had relatives over and a fever. Yaaaaay fever.**

**And two weeks ago I had food poisoning.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>From Blinded Eyes-san to the Princes of Rikkai, Higa, and Shitenhouji:<p>

**Dear Sanada,  
>Has any girl ever expressed interest in dating you?<strong>

Marui B.: _Again _with Fuku-buchou and his inability to communicate with the opposite gender.

Yukimura S.: Now, now, Bunta, don't be rude. Well, then, Genichirou?

Sanada G.: ...ghk...!

Kirihara A.: Ne, does 'ghk' mean 'yes', Yanagi-sempai?

Yanagi R.: In this context, it would appear so, Akaya.

Niou M.: Not bad, brat. Maybe you'll be useful for future relationship-stalking.

Jackal K.: Don't teach him anything he doesn't need to know!

Yagyuu H.: I'm still rather interested in this lady who has shut down Sanada-kun's cognitive ability.

**Dear Yukimura,**  
><strong>Do you think your popularity has decreased since you were hospitalized?<strong>

Yukimura S.: Hmph. I assure you, my well-being has no correlation whatsoever to such a frivolous subject.

Yanagi R.: Actually, Seiichi, it does hold some purchase.

Marui B.: If anything, I think he's gotten even more popular since he got hospitalized. There's the free sweets, the flowers, the free sweets, the get-well cards, the free sweets, and then there's the—

Kirihara A.: Then there are the fangirls... Right? They scare me!

Niou M.: They're absolutely terrifying. Even more so than your D-Mode. ...ow.

Jackal K.: We already said not to mention that!

Kirihara A.: Yeah! Don't mention it, Niou-sempai! They say that if you speak of the devil, he shall appear!

Yagyuu H.: Well, our precious kouhai doesn't seem to be talking about himself.

Kirihara A.: No duh, I'm not talking about me. Why would I be talking about me? I'm talking about... _them_. The ones with creepy evil laughs and talk about dyeing people.*

Niou M.: That would be y—

Jackal K.: Shut _up_, Niou! He's talking about the fangirls! Not himself!

Yukimura S.: That's quite enough of that. I don't want to hear anything more of the reason I'm going partially deaf. Those fangirls _will_ scream your name even if you're in a hospital bed not five feet from the window.

Marui B.: But Buchou, your room's on the fourth floor. How...?

Yukimura S.: That doesn't stop them, Bunta. Almost nothing does.

**Dear Kite,**  
><strong>Your teammates seem to look up to you very much. Or is it just because you scare them with gouya?<strong>

Kite E.: Of course they look up to me.

Hirakoba R.: Of course we look up to him.

Tanishi K.: I look up to Buchou.

Chinen H.: Well, I have to look _down _at him, but that's not the point.

Kai Y.: The second one.

Kite E.: Only you would pick the second one, Kai. But has it ever occurred to you that you look up to me because I'm the only man genius enough to figure out how to use a vegetable against you?

Kai Y.: No, not really. Everyone else just eats it, and that's the only way you'll get me to listen to you.

**Dear Shiraishi,**  
><strong>You must be used to girls throwing themselves all over you. If the girl you liked rejected you, would you work hard to win her over?<strong>

Shiraishi K.: Of course! That's the way it's meant to be! Men should be the ones to grovel at the feet of a woman whose divinity has captured his heart!

Tooyama K.: But what about the girls who like you?

Konjiki K.: Posh. They mean nothing, dear baby boy. A woman of sense like myself should use her charms to try steal a man's heart instead of degrade herself to a human projectile. Right, Yuu-kun~?

Hitouji Y.: What the hell, man! Make up your mind! You're either with me or against me! Which is it?

Konjiki K.: Oh, I'm against _you_, country bumpkin. I was just asking you to confirm my point. I've got my eye on—

Zaizen H.: BEEP. Sorry. No one cares. Next question.

**Dear Kenya,**  
><strong>Except for your speed, what do you think is the best quality you possess?<strong>

Oshitari K.: What? There's something wrong with this question! I've got tons of freakin' amazing qualities! You guys agree, right?

Tooyama K.: You play drums really well!

Ishida G.: You take good care of your iguana.

Shiraishi K.: Uh... I think your brash yet selfless personality is something fangirls find endearing.

Zaizen H.: But other than that you really don't have any other redeeming qualities. You're such a turtle.

Oshitari K.: What? I'm not a turtle, Zaizen!

Zaizen H.: Denial.

Chitose S.: Zaizen, stop it. If anything, he's still bothered by the fact that you somehow managed to snag more girls than he did.

Oshitari K.: Yeah! So shut up, Zaizen.

Zaizen H.: Fine. But remember: the difference between us, Mr. Bleach Blond, is that I don't try.

Ishida G.: Ouch.

**Dear Zaizen,**  
><strong>If girls closed their eyes and did not see your handsome face - do you think they'll still be attracted to you?<strong>

Zaizen H.: I don't know nor do I care. That is all.

Shiraishi K.: And somehow, they still like him.

Oshitari K.: That's exactly the reason why _I _should have custody over all your fangirls! Give 'em to me!

Zaizen H.: ...Mm'kay.

Ishida G.: You might be good at math and English, but your logic skills are severely lacking, Kenya.

Zaizen H.: Good job. The work of a true genius.

Tooyama K.: What? But then that just means he'll have even _more_ deranged fangirls to run from.

Oshitari K.: [CENSORED]

**Dear Kai,**  
><strong>Who's more popular, you or Rin?<strong>

Kai Y.: ME!

Hirakoba R.: Him.

Kai Y.: Wait, me?

Hirakoba R.: Yes, you. Probably.

Tanishi K.: Uh-huh.

Chinen H.: Looks like it.

Kite E.: Do you all have gouya for brains? Look at the fourth popularity poll—it _clearly_ says otherwise.

Hirakoba R.: Oh, so it does. I win.

Kai Y.: ...what...?

Chinen H.: Buchou's right... Kai, you don't even show up in the top 50! Rin made it to 36!

Tanishi K.: Loser.

Kai Y.: ...shut up. All of you.

**Dear Rin,**  
><strong>Why did you dye your hair that color?<strong>

Hirakoba R.: Well, why not?

Tanishi K.: You dyed your hair for no reason?

Kai Y.: What the hell! Even Chinen has a reason for dyeing his hair!

Chinen H.: So I stand out.

Tanishi K.: Like you don't stand out enough with your freakish height.

Chinen H.: Like you don't stand out enough with your freakish fat.

Tanishi K.: Buchou, make him eat gouya!

Kite E.: Actually, I think he had a reason for dyeing his hair. It was around the time that girl started showing up and watching practice. Ring a bell, Rin?

Hirakoba R.: ...!

Kai Y.: So you dyed your hair to be more popular?

Hirakoba R.: Well, it's not like I'm the _only_ one, Carrot Top!

**Dear Yagyuu,**  
><strong>Who's smarter at school—you or Yanagi?<strong>

Yagyuu H.: As a gentleman, it is not entirely my place to disclose such information.

Niou M.: Oi, stop being such a stick in the mud and admit—

Yanagi R.: "—that you always come in second to the Data Bug", you say? And I am not a bug.

Yagyuu H.: ...Niou-kun, I will refrain from any commentary that may be disparaging to your image.

Kirihara A.: What does that mean?

Yanagi R.: It means he was going to say something rude about Niou that would probably be embarrassing and most likely humorous.

Jackal K.: Well, glad you stopped yourself, Gentleman, because public humiliation is the LAST thing Akaya needs to learn from all this.

**Dear Niou,**  
><strong>Would you trick the girl you like into liking you?<strong>

Niou M.: No. That's just sick. If you like a girl, you're supposed to honestly like her with everything you've got. 'Sides, if you trick her into liking you, she'll eventually find out and end up hating your guts and forever remembering you as the guy who broke her heart.

Kirihara A.: Huh. I didn't know you had such a nice point of view of that, Niou-sempai.

Yagyuu H.: Agreed. Very refined reasoning fit for a gentleman.

Jackal K.: So even Niou's got morals when it comes to girls.

Niou M.: What's _that_ supposed to mean, Captain Baldy? Of course I got morals.

Yanagi R.: He means in regards of the lack of morals you have pertaining every other aspect in your life.

Yukimura S.: So does his intelligence come from speculation or from experience?

Niou M.: ...

Kirihara A.: I CALL IT! Sempai has mistreated a girl in his past! Look at him! He's turning red!

Yanagi R.: Ah, so he is. Turning red in this particular case seems to constitute validation in Akaya's statement.

Marui B.: Question! If Niou has morals, does Fuku-buchou slap girls or no?

Sanada G.: TARUNDORU!

**Dear Yanagi,**  
><strong>Walking and playing tennis with closed eyes is very dangerous. Aren't you frightened that you'll injure yourself?<strong>

Yanagi R.: No. Having my eyes closed is simply an evasive maneuver intended to minimize the number of stalker fangirls. Self-inflicted injury due to this would be—

Sanada G.: TARUNDORU!

Jackal K.: Exactly.

Kirihara A.: It's still mean, though, running from fangirls all by yourself and leaving the rest of us for dead.

Yukimura S.: Truth be told, I would do the same as Renji if I could. I hate fangirls more than I care about all of you.

Marui B.: Buchou...!

Yukimura S.: What? Those she-beasts are perhaps the most evil thing on the planet. Renji's plan totally works—the only one who scored lower than him in terms of popularity was Jackal.

Jackal K.: Buchou...!

Niou M.: Stop sniveling. It just means you don't have to run for your life every February 14th.

**Dear Marui,**  
><strong>Who do you think is more adorable, you or Kirihara?<strong>

Marui B.: Me, naturally. What girl would choose that brat over someone as awesome as myself?

Yanagi R.: You were indeed ranked 9 places higher than Akaya in the fourth popularity poll. But if our kouhai's learned anything during this chapter, it would be what, Akaya?

Kirihara A.: Fangirls maul people! Marui-sempai's 9 times more likely to die! Is that right? Do I get a prize?

Yukimura S.: Yes, Akaya, that is correct and you do get a prize. Jackal! See to it that Akaya gets full rights to Bunta's sweets stash should he perish.

Niou M.: The _entire _sweets stash? Don't let yourself go, brat. You need to stay in shape, unlike a certain person we know...

Marui B.: I hate you. ALL of you.

**Dear Kirihara,**  
><strong>Do you feel bitter that your sempai-tachi encourage your dangerous Devil Mode just to win?<strong>

Jackal K.: SHHH! It's a forbidden topic!

Niou M.: Like your being bal—

Sanada G.: TARUNDORU!

Yukimura S.: ...I don't believe you had to slap him _that_ hard, Genichirou.

Kirihara A.: Seriously? Would you guys shut up about this dead-beer moat** already? I don't care about it! Yeesh!

* * *

><p><strong>*as in "forcibly dyeing them with the color of love".<strong>

****dead-beer moat: It's originally pronounced "debiru mōdo", but since English is Akaya's worst subject, he mispronounced and misinterpreted it as "dedo biru mōto".**

**Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!  
><strong>


	16. alice106th

**You guys be sure to keep your bodies healthy so you don't catch month-long colds, okay? Okay! Here is part two of the bulk update!**

* * *

><p>From alice106th-san to the Princes of Rikkai and Hyoutei:<p>

**Dear Yukimura-san,**  
><strong>Can you take away people's senses without playing tennis? Also, what's your favorite kind of flower?<strong>

Yukimura S.: Hmm... Maybe, and my favorite flower differs from time to time. As of right now, my favorite is a sunflower, since they aim for only the highest and are constantly trying to reach for number one—the sun. They even go so far as to face whichever way the sun is in the sky.

Marui B.: Whoa, wait. Back up. _Maybe?_

Yagyuu H.: Please do clarify, Buchou.

Yukimura S.: I meant what I said. Maybe. I haven't found out yet.

Jackal K.: Yet?

Yukimura S.: The opportunity hasn't displayed itself, but I was saving the YIPS test for an occasion in which permanent damage was inflicted upon Akaya's morals and/or mentality.

Marui B.: OKAY. That's that. Hands off the baby boy, got that, Niou?

Niou M.: Mmm. Hands off the baby brat. Got it.

**Dear Yanagi-kun,**  
><strong>How did you get started with the Data Tennis thing? Did someone teach you like you taught Inui?<strong>

Yanagi R.: As if that were the case. I am not dependent upon the works of others. I created Data Tennis of my own personal interests, and Inui learned it as a result of his inability to specialize in other areas such as technique, speed, or strength, et cetera.

Niou M.: Ouch.

Jackal K.: Seriously. And here I thought you guys were best friends.

Yanagi R.: Precisely. Keyword: _were_. Seeing as how Inui took my technique and made it into something all his own, then going so far as to _abandon_ it and best me in a match, I have every right to be as cross about it as I am.

Akaya K.: ...Buchou, can I start having Yagyuu-sempai tutor me instead? Yanagi-sempai is being more scary and freakish than usual.

Sanada G.: _TARUNDORU!_

**Dear Marui-kun,**  
><strong>What's your favorite type of cake? Uwah, cake is so tasty, ne? It just makes everything better. :) Yay cake-buddies~<strong>

Marui B.: My _favorite_ type of cake? Hmm... Well, I pretty have three options as to go about this, my lovely fellow cake enthusiast~

Jackal K.: Three options to go about _what?_

Akaya K.: Taste, texture, and presentation?

Yanagi R.: Good deduction, Akaya, but not quite.

Niou M.: Wait, you mean three ways to _answer?_

Marui B.: Yeah. One: use the method Akaya mentioned. It all depends on what I feel like eating, but I guess nothing beats a classic strawberry-chocolate cheesecake. Creamy and delightful. It's so good...

Yagyuu H.: Marui-kun, please stop drooling and present the second means of reply.

Marui B.: Right! Two: I steal Buchou's line. 'Hmm... My favorite cake differs from time to time.'

Yukimura S.: Watch your words, Bunta. I've half a mind to practice my YIPS test right now with _you_ as the first victim.

Yanagi R.: Calm down, Seiichi. High blood pressure does not help your condition. Rest easy. Third point, Marui?

Marui B.: ...uh, three: I say something completely idiotic that fangirls would squeal over and devour. Like—

Sanada G.: _TARUNDORU!_

Marui B.: —'Huh? My absolute _favorite? _If there's only one, then it's sure to be _you._'

**Dear Yagyuu-san,**  
><strong>Why the heck are you on the tennis team with this bunch of goofs (the big three excepted)? Although on second thought, someone needs to keep Niou in check I guess...<strong>

Yagyuu H.: Quite so, my dear. Kuwahara-kun and I are constantly on damage control, as Sanada-kun and Buchou patrol the entire team with Yanagi-kun to collect data in order to improve. Marui-kun and Niou-kun are constantly picking on Akaya, so we have to restrain them.

Akaya K.: Just for me? Sempai-tachi are so nice.

Niou M.: They also keep us in check so we don't _die._

Marui B.: Yeah. Buchou would already have our heads rolling if we did all the stuff we _could _have gotten away with.

Niou M.: Prime example being screwing around with your mind, baby brat.

Yukimura S.: Bunta, Masaharu. YIPS. Test.

Marui B.: Shutting up now!

Niou M.: ..._puri_.

**Dear Sanada-san,**  
><strong>Can I call you Gen-chan? Pretty please?<strong>

Yukimura S.: Of course you may.

Yanagi R.: I have no objection to this as well.

Akaya K.: What? Why? Fuku-buchou hasn't said anything yet...

Yagyuu H.: Remember in a previous chapter how he could only answer 'ghk' when asked if a girl had ever wanted to date him?

Jackal K.: I still wonder who that girl was...

Marui B.: In any case, Fuku-buchou doesn't seem to mind. He actually looks pretty happy about it, if you ask me. Even though he looks scared to death.

Niou M.: He just doesn't know how to react 'happily' because his face muscles aren't used to exercise. Ain't that right, _Gen-chan?_

Sanada G.: ...ghk...!

Marui B.: Yup. Sound of happiness right there.

**Dear Oshitari-san,**  
><strong>I think you look better without glasses, why don't you take them off?<strong>

Oshitari Y.: Why don't I? It would seem sensible, true, since I don't actually need them to see. But these are a momento from when Kenya and I were young, and I'm what is considered 'the sentimental type'.

Ootori C.: I still think that's sweet of you, Sempai. It's like asking me to take off my necklace; it's a violation of character and personal belief!

Mukahi G.: Like Buchou without his mole. Or Shishido without his cap.

Atobe K.: Naa, Kabaji?

Kabaji M.: Ussu.

Shishido R.: Or like Gakuto without his freakish wig.

Mukahi G.: HEY! It's not a wig, it's a genetic disorder! Stupid Napoleon complex*...

Shishido R.: OI!

* * *

><p><strong>*Napoleon complex: a personality complex where the person feels they need to make up for short height and inferiority through proving strength and machismo. :]<strong>

**Hope you guys enjoy the bulk update! Next chapter up in a few minutes~**

**~Randomness  
><strong>


	17. Radiance Within 3

**Heyhey! Part three... the rest shouldn't take too long to show up now. :]**

**Still so sorry for not updating in so long...**

* * *

><p>From Radiance Within-san to the Princes of Seigaku, Rikkai, Higa, Shitenhouji, and Yamabuki:<p>

**Dear Ryoma,**  
><strong>Have you ever beaten your dad at tennis before?<strong>

Echizen R.: ...hn.

Momoshiro T.: Would you _stop_ already with the unclear one-word answers!

Oishi S.: Really, Echizen, the fans took their time to think of questions to ask! At least give them a proper answer.

Fuji S.: I expected more of you, Echizen. Perhaps the fame and glory of being the Prince is too much to handle? I'll be taking the spot then—

Echizen R.: No.

Kawamura T.: Eh? Not even _once?_

Kikumaru E.: Nya, I thought you were invincible, though, Ochibi! You're the Prince!

Echizen R.: No.

Tezuka K.: I don't believe you've lost on account of letting your guard down.

Inui S.: A fine observation, Tezuka. It seems that every time Echizen comes close to triumphing against his father in a match, Samurai Nanjirou suddenly forfeits with balderdash reasons. Examples include:  
><em>Come on, Shounen, go easy on your old man. Ahh, my back hurts. Let's stop;<br>Have you done your chores yet, Shounen? You'd better go wash Karupin. You know Rinko-chan gets annoyed if that Himalayan of yours tracks dirt in the house;  
><em>and most recently_:  
>Che. You're improving fast, Shounen. Is that your cell ringing? You should go answer—it could be your girlfriend. Isn't she the old hag's granddaughter? Look at you, putting the moves on her. Why is your face turning red, Shounen? Tired already?<em>

Kaidoh K.: Fsssshhhhhh...

Momoshiro T.: Wait, _girlfriend?_ A hag's granddaughter? You don't mean—

Kikumaru E.: Hoi, hoi, it's obviously got to be Sa—

Echizen R.: _Mada mada dane. _My romantic affairs are not part of the question, nosy sempai-tachi.

Momoshiro T.: ECHIZEN AND SA—

Echizen R.: SHUT.

Momoshiro T.: —SITTIN' IN A TREE—

Echizen R.: UP.

Momoshiro T.: —K-I-S-S-I-N— OW!

Echizen R.: I _would_ say my hand slipped, but I'm not even going to apologize.

**Dear Sanada,**  
><strong>Do you wear caps during school, too?<strong>

Sanada G.: If the dress code allowed it, I would.

Marui B.: He wears those things religiously. You should see it—one step out of a school building and _shoop! _It's on his head!

Yanagi R.: As our school is a private academy dedicated mainly to exploiting students' strong points and preparing them for higher education, we have very strict regulations as to what is considered acceptable attire within the premises.

Yukimura S.: Do you think the educating staff would let him wear his hat inside if... _someone _glued it to his head?

Jackal K.: NO. Just... no. Don't teach Akaya anything unnecessary!

Yukimura S.: I wasn't going to do it! ...it's just a suggestion for all those fangirls back home. :)

Sanada G.: ...!

Yukimura S.: Oh, don't give me that face, Genichirou. The hospital gets boring after a while, even with all the fangirls I have to avoid. Some entertainment isn't so criminal, is it now?

Niou M.: Buchou, if you were a trickster, I think you'd get into more trouble than _me_.

**Dear Kite,**  
><strong>Do you encourage using violence to win at tennis?<strong>

Kite E.: ...

Kai Y.: What the hell is the silence for? You advocate for violence like it was a religion!

Tanishi K.: Pretty much... Isn't the main purpose of the Big Bang to injure your opponent by having them attempt to return a hard shot? Like how that sushi guy from Seigaku fractured his wrist.

Chinen H.: I can't fathom why you're being so quiet now that you're being asked about it directly, Kite.

Hirakoba R.: Che. You're a coward when you're put in the spotlight, Kite.

Kai Y.: Maybe we should start winning tennis matches without violence or else Kite will always be a filthy boy.

Kite E.: Shut up, Kai, or I'll make you eat gouya!

Kai Y.: See? VIOLENCE!

**Dear Gin,**  
><strong>Did you feel guilty after harming Kawamura so much?<strong>

Ishida G.: ...! I'm sorry! I didn't think he'd bring it upon himself to turn into a rag doll so his team could win! I thought I could stop, but he kept getting back up to stand in front of me, and it would have been rude to shred his pride by letting him win by forfeit, so—

Chitose S.: We get it, Gin. It would have hurt him more to let him win by default.

Shiraishi K.: Seriously. Don't give yourself an aneurysm. I think you answered the question plenty well.

Tooyama K.: Yeah, but you wanted to hurry and end the match, so you rushed it and injured your arm and forfeited anyway! And thanks to you, I didn't get to play Koshimae!

Zaizen H.: Kin-chan, shut up. Gin's already going into a guilty self-hate spiral.

Shiraishi K.: Or should I use my poison arm?

**Dear Tezuka,**  
><strong>Have you ever contemplated getting contact lenses?<strong>

Tezuka K.: Yes, I suppose the possibility has come across my thoughts every so often.

Fuji S.: And?

Tezuka K.: That is all. I haven't acted upon it due to circumstances.

Kikumaru E.: Nya, why not?

Tezuka K.: It costs money to keep replacing contacts day after day, and applied incorrectly they could cause irritation to the cornea that may result in permanent damage. Also, I am not fond of the concept of putting something into my eyes.

Momoshiro T.: But what about—

Echizen R.: Sempai-tachi ask too many questions.

Kikumaru E.: Poor Ochibi-chan, still mad that we know his girlfriend is Sa—

Tezuka K.: _Yudan sezu ni ikou_.

**Dear Kin-chan,**  
><strong>You do know that Shiraishi's arm is actually harmless, right?<strong>

Tooyama K.: No! You're lying! Shiraishi's arm really is poison! He said so!

Zaizen H.: And how would you know it's really poisonous? Have you ever seen it with your own eyes?

Tooyama K.: What are you, stupid? Of course I've never seen it! If I did, that means I would be dead right now.

Ishida G.: Because...?

Tooyama K.: Be-_cause_ Shiraishi's arm is _deadly!_ And you know why? Because Shiraishi's really... _a superhero._

Chitose S.: Now I can't tell if he's a genius playing dumb or just plain _dumb_.

Shiraishi K.: He can't even read the kanji in Echizen's name right! Maybe instead of intelligence, his brain is absorbing all of the manga he reads and that becomes his reality... Let's see. Kin-chan, how do you make gold? What is the best way to kill someone without getting caught? And how can someone make it seem like there's two of them?

Tooyama K.: Easy! All of this was in Shounen Jump! Making gold is against the law of Amestris, write down the name in the Death Note, and just use a Shadow Clone Jutsu.

Chitose S.: Wrong! Alchemy isn't real, killing is illegal, and only Kikumaru of Seigaku and maybe Kenya—

Oshitari K.: Maybe? MAYBE? You guys hate me!

Chitose S.: —can make it seem like there's two of them due to their extreme speed!

Shiraishi K.: ...Zaizen, spend some time with Kin-chan this weekend.

Zaizen H.: Why? I'm not too keen on babysitting during free time.

Shiraishi K.: Just do it. Maybe some of your genius will rub off on him.

Konjiki K.: What about me? I've got an IQ of 200!

Hitouji Y.: Shut up, Koharu! All he'll catch from you is your gay!

**Dear Tanishi,**  
><strong>Do you ever worry about losing weight?<strong>

Tanishi K.: Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'll lose the weight when I freaking want to! Now leave me alone!

Hirakoba R.: Good job. Now he's going to eat himself right out of depression and into a heart attack.

Chinen H.: Has it ever occurred to anyone how strange it is that all of us are skinny as twigs and Kei hasn't changed despite the fact that we went through Spartan training together?

Kai Y.: Well, it doesn't really matter, since his chubbiness rings us victories.

Kite E.: Stop it, Kai, or I'll make you eat gouya.

Kai Y.: Would you shut up about your gouya? If anything, _your _punishment method is probably the reason Kei's got all that fat anyhow!

Hirakoba R.: He's got a point, you know.

Chinen H.: Maybe we should make _you_ eat gouya every time you threaten us with it.

**Dear Akutsu,**  
><strong>I thought you quit tennis—so why did you go to the U-17 camp?<strong>

Akutsu J.: I said _I_ _quit_, not _I give up on this forever because it's a waste of my time_.

Dan T.: Really? That's such a relief, Akutsu-sempai! Maybe I'll get to learn something from you a while longer, desu!

Sengoku K.: Aw, how sweet.

Touji M.: Sengoku, shut up before he kills you!

Akutsu J.: _Ah?_ Who the hell said I was doing anything for anyone? I was just lookin' for a good fight. Other middle schoolers are too weak.

Minami K.: ...uh... huh. Yeah, Sengoku, keep your trap shut before you become target practice.

Dan T.: Akutsu-sempai! What have I told you about hurting people? It's not nice, desu! SO DON'T HURT PEOPLE!

Akutsu J.: ...

Dan T.: Good. Now go beat the daylights out of those high school kids. I need more data.

Sengoku K.: Wait, WHAT?

Touji M.: I honestly think Taichi is genuinely scarier than Akutsu.

**Dear Inui,**  
><strong>Are you and Yanagi still friends?<strong>

Inui S.: Apparently not, based on his answer during the previous response chapter.

Fuji S.: Saa, don't cry, Inui. It simply means you don't have to worry about hurting his feelings when you crush him like a dirt clod during your next match—no bars held.

Momoshiro T.: A dirt clod? That's the first time I've heard that expression.

Oishi S.: Um, I'm more worried about Fuji's underhanded taunting.

Kikumaru E.: But it _is _true, nya?

Inui S.: It _does _seem so. Thanks for the advice, Fuji. As I was usually ignored as a child, I have virtually no data on how to exact revenge on a childhood friend who abandons you then proceeds to "bash" you. Now, how to destroy his mentality...

Echizen R.: ...sempai-tachi aren't even being stupid today. Just plain mindless.

Kaidoh K.: Fffsssshhhhhhhhhhh...

Tezuka K.: Echizen, Kaidoh, though it may seem the best choice to abandon them in their course of self-destruction, they are our teammates. It is our obligation, if not a duty, to set them right. _Yudan sezu ni ikou._

Momoshiro T.: Hey, shouldn't that be 'duty, if not obligation'?

Tezuka K.: I meant what I said.

Kaidoh K.: Ouch.

**Dear Kaidou,**  
><strong>How many bandanas do you have?<strong>

Kaidoh K.: ...

Momoshiro T.: I think that's Mamushi for "I'm a freakish weirdo like Sanada and have a bandana for everyday of the year".

Kaidoh K.:_ ORA!_ Are you picking a fight, meat head?

Momoshiro T.: Meat head! This has nothing to do with my physique, spaghetti arms!

Oishi S.: This is ridiculous. Both of you, stop arguing and answer the question already! You're so disrespectful to the fans!

Kaidoh K.: ...a lot.

Oishi S.: Hm? I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that. LOUDER, please. And more clearly, for the _fans._

Momoshiro T.: Hey! You can't do that! This is an emai—

Tezuka K.: 50 laps, Momoshiro?

Momoshiro T.: —never mind, he can do that.

Kaidoh K.: Uh, the usual green ones are one for every day of the week, and I have special colored or patterned bandanas that I wear for special occasions.

Fuji S.: Was that so hard? Aw, how cute. You're blushing.

**Dear Momo,**  
><strong>Is is true that you have a crush on Ann-chan too?<strong>

Momoshiro T.: Wh-what? Where did you h-hear th-tha-a-at?

Echizen R.: They probably just heard it, you know.

Momoshiro T.: What? They HEARD it? I never told _anyone! _How did they find out?

Kaidoh K.: 'They' found out just now, dumbass.

Fuji S.: Yes, quite. Thanks for clearing our suspicions, Momo.

Kikumaru E.: Hoi, hoi, are you gonna tell Tachibana-onii? He'll kill you if you don't, nya!

Momoshiro T.: Uh... what?

Tezuka K.: They tricked you because you let your guard down, Momoshiro.

Oishi S.: Honestly, you guys, don't you have anything better to do than torture Momo?

Kikumaru E.: Nope.

Fuji S.: Not particularly.

Kaidoh K.: I hate him.

Echizen R.: Revenge.

Inui S.: Probability that both the Tachibana siblings and one very jealous Kamio Akira know about Momoshiro's not-so-secret crush: higher than the ego of Atobe Keigo.

Kawamura T.: So... Are you going to do something about it? You know, before Kippei-san kills Kamio and Ann-san finds some other guy?

Echizen R.: Momoshiro and Ann-san—

Momoshiro T.: NO. DON'T.

Echizen R.: —sitting in a tree—

Momoshiro T.: I'M SERIOUS, ECHIZEN, SHUT UP.

Echizen R.: —k-i-s-s-i-n—

Oishi S.: Would the two of you stop before Tezuka sna—

Tezuka K.: Regulars. 100 laps. NOW.

Oishi S.: —ps... Thanks, you guys. Really. Oh, Momo, Echizen.

Momoshiro T.: ...what?

Echizen R.: Hn.

Oishi S.: Tomorrow, provided we're not DEAD, I'm going to tell your feelings to Ann-san and Sa—

Kikumaru E.: _ZANEN, MUNNEN, MATA RAISHU*~_ Email end, thank you, bye-bye! Nya~

* * *

><p><strong>Shounen Jump, FullMetal Alchemist, Death Note, and Naruto don't belong to me. Other than that...<strong>

***Zannen, munen, mata raishu~: kind of another of Eiji's catchphrases. Basically means, "Too bad, so sad, try again next week."  
><strong>

**I don't really have anything to say here. (Just click the NEXT CHAPTER button for more humor, if you wish.)**

**~Randomness  
><strong>


	18. Sakura Ichigo Morihiko

**CHA! Fourth chapter! Only... five more to go! *sobs***

**I don't own TeniPuri.**

* * *

><p>From Sakura Ichigo Morihiko-san to the Prevailer of Randomness:<strong><br>**

**Authoress:  
>Alright, can you please put these questions in for me? Pertty pertty please?<strong>

Randomness: Uh, yes?

* * *

><p>From Sakura Ichigo Morihiko-san to the Princes of Seigaku and Rikkai:<br>**  
>Inui-san:<br>I HAVE TOTALLY SEEN YOUR EYES BEFORE! The episode where you glasses broke and in the OVA Atobe's Gift! It was only for a split second, but I can describe them perfectly! Slightly feline, blue-green eyes! CAN YOU PLEASE JUST TAKE OFF YOUR GLASSES FOR THE REGULARS TO SEE?  
><strong>  
>Inui S.: My <em>eyes?<em> MY eyes? Th-this is highly illogical...

Fuji S.: Ah, would this be the first time a girl has told you she likes your eyes?

Inui S.: Erm, I wouldn't say that she necessarily has a penchant for them, but yes. It's the first time. However, the fractions of light reflected in the irises, the angle of the camera, and the trajectory at which I fell actually caused distorted coloration by approximately one main section of the color wheel in its primary-secondary form...

Momoshiro T.: What? Speak in Japanese, Sempai! Not your freaky nerd language.

Kaidoh K.: You're just stupid, you idiot. He means the color was off because of the lighting and his eyes are dark green.

Momoshiro T.: Who're you calling an idiot, stupid?

Inui S.: A nerd, you said? Congratulations, Momoshiro, you are the test subject for my next concoction...

Kikumaru E.: Nya, hasn't _everyone_ seen your eyes at some point, though? Like, I saw your eyes once when I stole your glasses in the hallway!

Kawamura T.: I saw them when he cleaned his glasses over at our restaurant one time.

Kaidoh K.: Changing frames when they broke during a match.

Oishi S.: I think he was testing how well the lens glare can blind the opponent...

Tezuka K.: ...at the water fountain, washing his face.

Momoshiro T.: When we were away on training camps, me and Kikumaru-senpai and some others would stay up, wait till he fell asleep, then peel off that stupid blindfold he wears and shine a flashlight in his face to see if he'd wake up.

Kawamura T.: Did he?

Momoshiro T.: Yeah. How do you think I saw his eyes? He started threatening us with Inui Juice after that, though...

Inui S.: It was rude and I had every right.

Fuji S.: I was taking pictures. Y'know, for recreation. I followed him around for a bit to see if I could get an interesting shot, and now maybe fifty or so girls at school have a clear shot of his face. You're welcome.

Momoshiro T.: You got him more fangirls! Now he has to hope he doesn't die every Valentine's Day! How does that help him?

Echizen R.: Because I saw his eyes when he was crying over not getting any chocolates this year. That's how.

Inui S.: What th— I did no such thing!

Echizen R.: 'Data doesn't lie', was it? _Mada mada dane._

Inui S.: ...note: Echizen dies after Momoshiro does.

**Ryoma-oji:  
>How do you feel about how fangirls are pairing you with Fuji in the Thrill Pair? Oh, and btw, I am a HUGE Thrill fan. A picture of you 2 together is my background :)<br>**  
>Echizen R.: ...no. I should destroy that smiley face of yours.<p>

Fuji S.: Aw, come on, Ryoma. You're no fun. Just a kiss?

Echizen R.: Hell no.

Fuji S.: A hug, then.

Echizen R.: Shut.

Fuji S.: Hi-five?

Echizen R.: UP.

Kikumaru E.: Ochibi, you're so mean! Not even a hi-five? Thrill Pair can't be that bad, can it?

Inui S.: Actually, yes it can. See?

Oishi S.: PUT IT AWAY! AWAY! THAT PHOTO IS SUGGESTIVE AND NOT MIDDLE SCHOOL APPROPRIATE!

Kikumaru E.: ...eeewwwww...

Kawamura T.: Why would someone draw something like that!

Momoshiro T.: Aw, c'mon! Let us see it! You wanna see it too, right, Mamushi?

Kaidoh K.: No, I don't! You friggin' creeper!

Momoshiro T.: Shut your trap, it can't be that ba—MY EYES! AUGH! Someone please gouge them out!

Tezuka K.: Momoshiro, 40 laps for looking. Inui, since you had the gall to look for something the fangirls made up, you have to drink your bottle of Inui Juice.

Echizen R.: Only one?

Tezuka K.: I meant one every ten minutes, thank you very much. Echizen, don't let your guard down.

Echizen R.: _Uissu._

Tezuka K.: Fuji.

Fuji S.: Hmm?

Tezuka K.: You are not to come within a meter of all Regulars for the next week.

Fuji S.: Aw, you're no fun, Kunimitsu. Lighten up; it was just a joke. How 'bout a kiss to make it better?

**Tezuka-san:  
>Have you ever had a crush on a girl in any point of your life? Oh, and here's a riddle that I want you to solve. Are you good at math? Complete the last two in this sequence: 1=3, 2=3, 3=5, 4=4, 5=4, 6=3, 7=5, 8=5, 9=4, 10=3, 11=?, 12=?<br>Try to figure it out then message me the answer if possible!**

Tezuka K.: The eleventh and twelfth outcomes in that sequence are both six. The answer to each is how many letters are in the corresponding number. For example, one: o-n-e: three. Two: t-w-o: three. Three: t-h-r-e-e: five. And so on.

Oishi S.: You ignored the first question completely!

Momoshiro T.: I don't think Buchou's face and heart muscles have the capacity to like a girl. That, and his head's always full of tennis; no room for love. What a pitiful youth...

Inui S.: Quite contrary, Momoshiro. Though it seems unlikely that Tezuka would harbor a crush, my data says otherwise.

Echizen R.: Buchou has feelings?

Kaidoh K.: Ffffsssshhhhhhh...

Fuji S.: _Otherwise?_ You couldn't mean... Saa, this should be interesting.

Kikumaru E.: Nya? You know something, Fujiko! Spit it out! Tell us!

Kawamura T.: Is it _the incident_ from...?

Oishi S.: Since he ignored the first question, I think it _is _THE incident. But then again, gentlemen like Tezuka don't kiss and tell, do they?

Momoshiro T.: Buchou's had his first kiss? Didn't see that coming...

Fuji S.: Gentlemen don't kiss and tell. But I'm hardly a gentleman, so what does it matter? Tezuka actually had a girlfriend last year. A _secret _girlfriend.

Momoshiro T.: DEFINITELY didn't see that coming!

Echizen R.: Was his girlfriend a rock?

Kawamura T.: No, she was real. Her name is Matsuya Asami, and she sat next to him in class since they were the president and vice-president, and they acted like they didn't like each other since they always competed for the top spot in year rankings.

Fuji S.: But when they were left in the Student Council room to finish organizing things, they'd..._ linger_ a bit longer than was needed. We found them on accident once, since Tezuka was late to practice and we had to look for him. I don't think it was possible for him to smile and laugh and _kiss a gir__l _all within five seconds.

Kikumaru E.: I didn't know about this! Hoi, hoi! What happened? Are they still going out?

Inui S.: Sadly, no. Matsuya Asami returned to Korea, as she was a Japanese-Korean exchange student for only that year.

Momoshiro T.: A secret half-Japanese girlfriend? Whoa. I commend you, Buchou, on a really freakin' good catch!

Echizen R.: Hn. I didn't know Buchou was a ladykiller.

Tezuka K.: All of you. 100 laps. From _today_ until the day the third years _graduate_.

Fuji S.: Tsk, tsk, tsk. You really should be more honest about your feelings, Tezuka.

Oishi S.: Pish. Giving us laps is just his way of saying he wishes Asami-chan were still here.

**Marui-san:  
>MARUI-SAMA~! *unloads a giant pickup truck of candy and sweets* I BROUGHT SWEETS AND ENOUGH GUM TO LAST YOU A PACK A DAY FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR! :D Would you sign my shirt? *holds up a PoT T-shirt and a black sharpie*<strong>

Marui B.: Holy shortcake, you did _what? _I LOVE YOU FOREVER. C'mere, I gotta kiss you on the cheek, at least!

Jackal K.: No, Marui, don't go ther—

Kirihara A.: Sempai, is it possible to kiss someone's cheek through the Internet?

Yagyuu H.: Apparently it is, if you're Marui-kun.

Yanagi R.: There are no words to accurately describe how irrational and preposterous this possibility is.

Niou M.: Stop macking your computer, fatass.

Marui B.: I'm not macking the computer, I'm macking the girl on the Internet who has enough sense to send me gifts! AND I'M NOT FAT, I'M FLUFFY!

Yukimura S.: This is exceedingly unorthodox, even by my standards. Bunta, please stop.

Sanada G.: _TARUNDORU!_

Marui B.: Gimme that Sharpie!

Kirihara A.: Niou-sempai, what are you doing?

Niou M.: Digging a grave. The fangirls back home are going to _murder _him when they find out.

* * *

><p>From Sakura Ichigo Morihiko-san to the Prevailer of Randomness:<p>

**Authoress-san:  
>Could you please have all the characters in this anime read my fanfiction Ice Angel and give me reviews of their reactions of how I made the characters so OOC? I FLIPPIN' MADE RYOMA-OJI AND ATOBE-Ō get ALONG!<strong>

Randomness: Haha, I like this fic. It's OOC AMAZING HILARIOUSNESS CENTRAL! It's a shame you haven't updated in a while. Have the guys reply now... Wait, ALL of them? Girl, there are 79 freakin' characters, JUST counting the ones in 3rd year middle school and younger! I'll just have the ones involved answer, then~ (But I think they overall LOVE it. 'Cept Tezuka, 'cuz he's... y'know.)

Momoshiro T.: Hah, it felt good to blow off some steam... AND I got to see Ann-chan!

Niou M.: _Puri. _I got a prankster baby sister. I'm not sure if I should be glad or fear for my life.

Yukimura S.: At least mine seems sweet and docile. ^^ But I have yet to discover if that's a façade.

Mizuki H.: You guys got it easy! I was physically abused and/or MANGLED to no discernible damage point!

Fuji Y.: That's what you get for teaching me dangerous shots. MY sister still has something planned for you, I'm sure.

Echizen R.: I suddenly have four more girls in my family. Karupin seems to like them, so I don't think I mind.

Kikumaru E.: Buchou's sister is a good person, too!

Oishi S.: Uh, except for the fact that _she's a sadist_. Honestly, you'd think she was Fuji's third sister.

Atobe K.: _Ahn?_ I would _never_ get along with a brat who equates Ore-sama with a monkey.

Tezuka K.: I... I would never—!

Fuji S.: _Ara?_ Ahaha, you're blushing, aren't you? It was interesting to see you so flexible with your expressions, not to mention your nearly impeccable skills in strip poker. Much thanks to Sakura-chan, or else I never would have known you would ever let your guard down, much less your boxers.

* * *

><p><strong>So jah. I really did enjoy that story. Thanks! You guys should check it out, too, when you get the chance!<strong>

**Now to get crackin' on the other five chapters.**

**~Randomness  
><strong>


	19. MinayNguyen

**ALRIGHT! Part 5! Halfway there! Keep reading!**

* * *

><p>From MinayNguyen-san to the Princes of Shitenhouji, Hyoutei, and Rikkai:<p>

**Dear Shiraishi,  
>Why do you like girls whose hair has the scent of shampoo? Although, everybody has their own tastes and opinions.<strong>

Shiraishi K.: Because they smell fresh and clean.

Hitouji Y.: Unlike Koharu?

Shiraishi K.: Exactly unlike him.

Konjiki K.: Oh! I am thoroughly offended!

Shiraishi K.: Good. You were supposed to be.

Chitose S.: Why're you in such a bad mood right now?

Shiraishi K.: Because I'm stuck _here_ answering questions about girls I like instead of going out _with_ a girl I like! And I'm stuck with _you guys_.

Chitose S.: Yeah, we love you, too.

Tooyama K.: I thought you liked shampoo-smelling hair because it's got a nicer smell than your poison arm.

**Dear Choutarou,  
>What inspired you to play the piano and violin?<strong>

Ootori C.: Oh, my music hobby? Hmm... I guess it happened when I started listening to religious music, like gospel choirs. Then I got into classical music, and I learned how to play those instruments so I could learn the songs I liked the most.

Shishido R.: ...you really are the poster child for innocence. I don't think anything else has got anything to say.

Oshitari Y.: Who's your favorite composer?

Ootori C.: Chopin. Frédéric Chopin.

Atobe K.: Good choice. But Ore-sama thinks a lot of his compositions are dark and somewhat dismal. Ore-sama prefers the works of Wagner.

Oshitari Y.: So Atobe listen to opera-esque music and Ootori listens to morose songs. The surface may or may not reflect what lies deep down, it seems.

Mukahi G.: I'm not musically-inclined. What does that mean?

Oshitari Y.: It means that Atobe's a haughty and high-class egomaniac and maybe Ootori isn't as peaceful as he leads us to believe.

**Dear Oshitari,  
>Why do you wear glasses to look smart and don't give me an obvious answer!<strong>

Oshitari Y.: How many times must I go over this? I do not wear them to influence my outward appearance nor my intellect!

Ootori C.: You wear them to remind yourself of your cousin Kenya-san, right?

Shishido R.: I thought we covered this somewhere... other than the other times you got asked this question. I think it was in an episode.

**Dear Atobe,  
>Do you ever notice that you and Eiji have the same hairstyle?<strong>

Atobe K.: Do we? Ore-sama never noticed.

Shishido R.: Then again, you never pay much attention to anything other than yourself, isn't that right?

Oshitari Y.: Well, he pays attention when we're involved... somewhat. I think it's more the aspect that we play tennis than that we're his friends.

Ootori C.: Buchou also pays attention when Tezuka-san plays against him in a match, though.

Mukahi G.: Pish. That's only 'cuz he knows Tezuka plays tennis better than him and he's frustrated about that.

Shishido R.: So in short, he's still an egotistic bastard. Naa, Kabaji?

Kabaji M.: _Ussu._

Atobe K.: OI!

**Dear Kenya,  
>Why do you bleach your hair?<strong>

Oshitari K.: No particular reason...

Shiraishi K.: LIES! Admit it! You bleach your hair so you can pick up chicks!

Oshitari K.: That's not true! Where did you hear that?

Shiraishi K.: You didn't deny it two chapters ago. I said you had to nab 'em quick. "No speed, no life", right?

Tooyama K.: You guys are weird. Why would you need to dye your hair to get baby birds?

Ishida G.: I don't know, but let's leave it at "baby birds", hmm?

**Dear Sanada,  
>How come you don't answer whenever someone asks you what's your preferred type?<strong>

Sanada G.: Because it's a foolish question in which the value of doesn't merit an answer!

Kirihara A.: ...what? I can't understand your complex question-dodging, Fuku-buchou!

Yanagi R.: He meant "because it's embarrassing and I can't answer without becoming a tomato".

Yukimura S.: Honestly, Genichirou, you _must_ improve your social skills.

Niou M.: Read "flirting skills".

Marui B.: And Fuku-buchou, slapping people doesn't count as socializing.

**Dear Oshitari,  
>Why did you move to Tokyo?<strong>

Oshitari Y.: Who, me? That's odd. I've never gotten two questions in one session before...

Mukahi G.: Oh, you must think you're _real _special now, huh? Jerk.

Ootori C.: Sempai! Just answer the question!

Shishido R.: Seriously. This isn't a popularity contest.

Atobe K.: Isn't it?

Wakashi H.: No. Now shut up and reply.

Oshitari Y.: I moved to Tokyo on behalf of my parents' word. Apparently, they were co-sponsors with Atobe's parents, and when they learned that Atobe was going to Hyoutei, they thought it'd be good for another generation of the companies to be good friends. Nothing special.

Ootori C.: Nothing special? Sempai, "nothing special" is when your parents decide for a scenery change or change company location!

Shishido R.: Uh, Choutarou? Rich brat—er, kid school, remember. That is a _prime example _of "nothing special". Except Atobe. He's just...

Oshitari Y.: Just an overly glimmerous fop who's got nothing better to focus on. Admit it.

**Dear Jirou,  
>Are you really an obsessive fanboy like how most authors including me depict you to be?<strong>

Akutagawa J.: ...

Shishido R.: Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!

Akutagawa J.: ...?

Ootori C.: She asked a question, Sempai.

Akutagawa J.: ...maybe.

Oshitari Y.: Oi! Don't just answer with something so vague! Specify!

Atobe K.: Ore-sama will arrange for practice matches with Rikkai if you do.

Akutagawa J.: Really? Cool! Thanks! So, maybe I am, maybe I'm not. I just think the way he plays tennis is GENIUS! I'll ask Marui-san later how he came up with his techniques! Then I'll be able to think about my own techniques based on it... That'll be perfect if I can come up with counter-attacks! Then I can beat Marui-san and I'LL be the genius!

Mukahi G.: What the hell! Now we're wondering if you adore or abhor him—DON'T FALL ASLEEP SO SOON!

**Dear Atobe,  
>Do you honestly hold a grudge against Ryoma for him shaving your head?<strong>

Atobe K.: A second question? This is most unusual. To hold a grudge? Ore-sama does no such thing to a boy who can't see the difference between a patrician an a primate. However, I will acknowledge his efforts to irk Ore-sama.

Shishido R.: Quit lying! You SO were pissed that he made you shave your head!

Ootori C.: I think Shishido-san's right. The fact that you've started carrying a shaver around every time we go to the same tournament as Seigaku makes it hard to believe you, Buchou.

Oshitari Y.: Is there no trumping your ego? There's always some king of weird quirk with the buchou or fuku-buchou of every school.

Mukahi G.: A _quirk? _THAT'S what you call his overloaded narcissism? If he were a food, he'd be a fruitcake; he thinks he's great, but no one agrees.

Wakashi H.: I think it's more disturbing that that brat had a shaver in his back pocket the entire time he played against Buchou.

**Dear Gakuto,  
>Why is your preferred date spot bungee jumping?<strong>

Mukahi G.: Why not?

Shishido R.: Well, considering he's a moon-saulting acrobat whack, I think it's a perfect fit for him.

Ootori C.: Shishido-san, that's rude!

Mukahi G.: At least I'm a narcissist who'd like someone that's his carbon copy gender swapped!

**Dear Hiyoshi,  
>Do you enable martial arts into other things other than tennis?<strong>

Wakashi H.: Not particularly, no. Maybe I'll use it if someone pisses me off.

Oshitari Y.: You're really dedicated to your martial arts, aren't you? Sometimes I see you training really early in the morning when I practice my violin on the balcony.

Shishido R.: Oh yeah, I have to return that kung fu movie I borrowed from you last week. It was really good, by the way.

Ootori C.: Hm, so you're more dedicated to it than tennis?

Atobe K.: Don't slack off, Wakashi.

Wakashi H.: Of course not, you pompous airhead, otherwise _gekokujou _isn't possible.

**Dear Shishido,  
>Before chopping off your precious locks, why was your hair very precious to you?<strong>

Shishido R.: Because.

Ootori C.: Because what?

Shishido R.: Just because.

Mukahi G.: Really? Just because?

Shishido R.: Yeah. No particular reason.

Oshitari Y.: Knowing you and judging by the way you're avoiding eye contact, I'd say you're lying.

Taki H.: Are you absolutely sure it has nothing to do with why you like tomboys?

Shishido R.: Not entirely. Question's been answered, goodbye now!

Ootori C.: Oh, wait! I think I heard this story from his older brother once! He used to get teased in elementary about his hair was kind of longish and he was called a girl, and then the tomboy in the class was really mad. So she cut her hair really short and beat up the bullies and said something about how hair length has nothing to do with abilities gender-wise... Or something along those lines.

Oshitari Y.: What is Shishido talking about? It has _everything_ to do with why he likes tomboys!

Wakashi H.: I'm more concerned about he fact that he behaves the way a girl would if she were a tomboy. In other words, Shishido-sempai acts like a girl.

**Dear Niou,  
>Why do you like pulling pranks?<strong>

Kirihara A.: Oh, great, this isn't another 'childhood crush' story about a girl, is it?

Niou M.: No and yes. Not a childhood crush, but it does have to do with a girl.

Yagyuu H.: Are you, by any chance, referring to your older sister?

Marui B.: I remember her! She gave me gum once. But it was actually shock gum*...

Jackal K.: Are you freakin' _kidding_ me? You learned how to be a trickster from your _older sister_?

Niou M.: Yeah, why not? She was sick of me going into her stuff or playing in her room, so she'd pull a prank every time I did something. I don't think she anticipated that I'd learn how to pull my own stunts, though.

Yukimura S.: That's why I don't let you hang out with Masaharu, Akaya.

**Dear Yagyuu,  
>Why are you so polite?<strong>

Yagyuu H.: Well, why not? Chivalry is a dying practice in today's world.

Niou M.: Like what? Give us an example.

Yagyuu H.: Ahem. My prime example would be _you_.

Niou M.: Ouch.

**Dear Jackal,  
>Do you hate it when people ask you about your baldness? No offense but I can't imagine you with hair so I prefer you bald since you look more handsome that way.<strong>

Jackal K.: R-really...?

Marui B.: He hates it when people mention he's bald and ask why. And then he asks them what make them decide to grow their hair out.

Niou M.: Aww, look. He's turning into a tomato. First time someone's told you that?

Jackal K.: Um, yeah... I don't know how to react!

Niou M.: Why don't you just give 'er a kiss on the cheek? Like Bubblegum here did to that one girl who gave him a year's supply of sweets and gum.

Jackal K.: ...!

Kirihara A.: Sempai, are you having a heat stroke? Your face is all red and you're not breathing.

**Dear Jirou,  
>Since when have you suffered from being a narcoleptic?<strong>

Akutagawa J.: ...? Dunno. G'bye.

Oshitari Y.: Why does he only rarely ever answer his own questions?

Ootori C.: Shh! He's sleeping!

Atobe K.: Ore-sama has asked professionals, and the specific cause of narcolepsy is still being researched. It is highly probable that narcolepsy is caused by genetic mutation.

Wakashi H.: Genetic mutation? Does that cause red hair and ego, too?

**Dear Atobe,  
>Why do you like your hair so much? Don't give me an obvious answer and your hair does look great, I admit that.<strong>

Shishido R.: Why do _you_ get three questions in one go?

Atobe K.: Because Ore-sama is far more superior than all of _you_.

Oshitari Y.: ...this coming from a guy who speaks in third person. Yeah, that's really a great show of aristocracy.

Atobe K.: Ore-sama cares very much about the way he looks, as to create a good first impression. Most of it is based on physical appearance, then on tone of voice, and least cared about is the meaning of the first words in conversation. That is why Ore-sama speaks confidently.

Oshitari Y.: At this rate, I think you're making them hate you more than anything.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah! Four more to go...! *sobs*<strong>

***Shock gum: a practical jokes toy that looks like a pack of gum with a piece sticking out. If you pull on the piece, it shocks you...  
><strong>

**Contrary to popular belief, it's really hard coming up with good answers... But once you get a good idea, it's pretty easy to write a banter.  
><strong>


	20. MinayNguyen 2

**Part 6 of 9! READ IT!**

* * *

><p>From MinayNguyen-san to the Princes of St. Rudolph, Hyoutei, Rokkaku, Rikkai, Fudomine, and Yamabuki:<p>

**Dear Yuuta,  
>What's with that X-shaped markscar of yours on your head?**

Fuji Y.: W-what about it!

Yanagisawa S.: They probably wanna know why you have it, _dane._

Kisarazu A.: Now I'm curious, as well.

Mizuki H.: It's because that's a scar from when he first learned tennis.

Fuji Y.: **_...!_**

Mizuki H.: Let it go, would you? You were _five_, for crying out loud.

Akazawa Y.: What exactly happened? Did he get injured?

Mizuki H.: Some older kids were picking on him when he tried learning tennis from his _aniki_, they tripped him, and he cut his forehead on the pole*. Older bro got pissed and beat the crap outta the older kids, and that's when Yuuta decided to take tennis seriously.

Kisarazu A.: Ah, so he let the injury scar as a reminder?

Yanagisawa S.: Aw, so baby Yuuta wanted to be just like his _Aniki_, _dane_. We knew you didn't hate him!

**Dear Choutarou,  
>Why do you hate doing experiments on animals?<strong>

Ootori C.: It's unethical! Animals are a part of nature as _Kami-sama's**_ creatures! They're not meant to be collected and killed and shipped to classrooms for dissection with their veins colored and eyeballs cut open and labeled or have their innards preserved in formaldehyde...

Shishido R.: That is true and also the freakiest way I've heard it put. Now I don't wanna go to school.

Oshitari Y.: I second that motion!

Atobe K.: ...Ore-sama is also unsettled by these unwanted mental images. Perhaps I'll have virtual dissections mandatory as part of the curriculum instead of animals...

Oshitari Y.: Makes you think twice about going to France and eating local cuisine***...

**Dear Atobe,  
>Why do you treat Kabaji as your servant even though he's your best friend?<strong>

Kabaji M.: ...

Ootori C.: ? Kabaji-san looks like he wants to say something.

Kabaji M.: I don't mind. Nothing else to do.

Atobe K.: Servant? What sick person would do that? Ore-sama is disgusted that our friendship is seen that way.

Shishido R.: I think his definition of normal friendships is a bit screwed... even though he honestly sees Kabaji as an irreplaceable companion.

Oshitari Y.: Maybe there's too much pressure in his head, what with his overwhelming ego threatening to kill of his brain cells.

**Dear Kabaji,  
>How are you able to absorb tennis moves and information into your head?<strong>

Kabaji M.: ...because.

Atobe K.: Kabaji is able to absorb techniques because his mind is simple.

Shishido R.: So, since he can copy things because he's simpleminded?

Oshitari Y.: ...that sounds like the equivalent of cheaters. They're simple and can only copy.

Ootori C.: That's kind of mean, though. Kabaji-san's really nice.

Shishido R.: Atobe said it!

Oshitari Y.: _Naa, _Kabaji?

Kabaji M.: ..._ussu._

Atobe K.: OI!

**Dear Saeki,  
>How did you know the Fuji brothers?<strong>

Saeki K.: Hmm? Oh, they used to live near me when we were little. I don't think we were in Kindergarten yet.

Aoi K.: Really? You've known them for that long?

Saeki K.: Yeah. They lived down my street for a while because their dad was going through briefing for overseas employment, and they moved to Tokyo to make his commune from his job back here easier. Y'know, with Narita Airport being so close.

**Dear Choutarou,  
>Do you like your birthday or not, considering the fact that it's on the same date as Valentine's day?<strong>

Ootori C.: Well, I do and I don't.

Oshitari Y.: Elaborate, please.

Ootori C.: I do like it because it's my birthday and I'm grateful for everything that's happened to me so far. I also think it's sweet that it's a day of recognition for lovers and whatnot.

Shishido R.: Which is _exactly _why I hate it.

Ootori C.: Honestly, Shishido-san's right. It's the _one_ day of 365 that most guys decide to show their emotions and be nice to girls. What the heck. If you like her, then show it! Loving a girl is probably the bravest thing a guy can do!

Atobe K.: Something irks Ore-sama about that day... _the chocolates._

Ootori C.: YES! Number One reason I hate my birthday! I get it, fangirls, you like us. But it's the day I get one year older, not the day I die of a diabetic seizure.

Oshitari Y.: With all the chocolates we're forced to eat, I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet.

Akutagawa J.: Maybe we can give all the sweets to Marui-san!

**Dear Shinya,  
>Why do you often say <em>dane<em> after your sentences?**

Yanagisawa S.: It... it's a bad speech habit, _dane..._

Mizuki H.: With an extremely stupid purpose that's not worth mentioning.

Yanagisawa S.: That's rude, _dane!_

Fuji Y.: Why do you say it, though? It _is _kind of annoying.

Akazawa Y.: Would you all stop talking and get back to practice already?

Yanagisawa S.: When I was younger—

Akazawa Y.: And they ignore me.

Yanagisawa S.: —I liked ducks, and I always tried to imitate them. And now I'm sort of stuck... _dane._

Fuji Y.: Mizuki was right! That's completely boring and not worth mentioning! Buchou, wait up! I'm going to start practice now!

Mizuki H.: Why don't you try getting rid of the habit by saying something else that's ridiculous?

Yanagisawa S.: Okay, maybe it'll work, _dan— _Danish!

Mizuki H.: No good. You're still a loser.

**Dear Kirihara,  
>Why do you do so badly in English, considering the fact that your father is a foreign worker?<strong>

Kirihara A.: Back off! I'm not good in English and that's that! I'm ME, not my dad!

Niou M.: You tell 'em, baby brat.

Kirihara A.: I never liked English to begin with! My dad tried teaching me when I was little, but I ended up hating it even more.

Yanagi R.: Knowledge of a foreign language seems to influence an increase in fangirls.

Yagyuu H.: That's... unsettling.

Niou M.: Buchou speaks the language of flowers, if that's any compensation.

Yukimura S.: Masaharu, here. It's a lily.

Niou M.: Okay, cool. What does it mean?

Yukimura S.: In America, they're usually put on someone's grave. I hope you like them, because they'll be on your soon.

**Dear Tetsu,  
>Why are you in Tokyo when your brother's all the way from Kansai?<strong>

Ishida T.: My mom decided to move me and my _imouto_ to Tokyo when my dad took a huge construction project. Since Nii-san is stronger than I am, dad has him around to help sometimes.

Kamio A.: Do you feel bitter that only your older bro stayed?

Ishida T.: Not really, since I got to meet you, Shinji, Tachibana-san, and the others. But don't say anything witty that'll make me regret being your friend.

Ibu S.: ...touchy.

**Dear Akutsu,  
>Why do you like girls who look good with lipstick?<strong>

Minami K.: You're going to ask him about _girls?_

Sengoku K.: That's a first... normally he just glares and walks off. I wonder how he'll react now that he's being asked directly.

Akutsu J.: ...

Dan T.: Akutsu-sempai, what have I told you about proper answering etiquette, _desu_?

Akutsu J.: ...to answer, brat. But I don't want to—

Dan T.: No buts, _desu_! Answer it!

Akutsu J.: ...because I think they're sexy and mature...

Dan T.: Good. For answering, I mean.

Touji M.: That settles it, little boy is officially the scariest team member!

Sengoku K.: With _those_ skills, I bet he could be a pretty kickass _Banchou_****.

**Dear Oshitari,  
>What's the story between you and your weird pretty leg fetish?<strong>

Oshitari Y.: Oh, nothing in particular—

Shishido R.: What a load of bull! There's _always _a story when it involves _you_.

Mukahi G.: I remember you said it had to do with—

Oshitari Y.: NO! Shut up, Gakuto!

Ootori C.: Now I'm _positive _that you're hiding something.

Atobe K.: Yuushi, does Ore-sama need to require that all Hyoutei's female students wear trousers instead of skirts again?

Oshitari Y.: NO! Don't you DARE go near the legs!

Ootori C.: ...you scare me and disgust me at the same time, Sempai.

Oshitari Y.: Like I said, legs are sexy! And the reason I think they are is because... because I only had my _ane-ue***** _and _okaa-san_ around when I was little since _otou-san_ was working to make a reasonable profit. I was... a mama's boy. I'll admit it. That why I like nice legs!

Ootori C.: Okay, it was cute when you were little, but now you're just weird.

Oshitari Y.: Which is why I didn't tell you before! It's not entirely my fault!

Atobe K.: Perhaps there is a way to break his fetish...

Shishido R.: _Kami-sama_, DON'T. You'll probably make it worse for Oshitari and give the rest of us trauma. We have enough trauma having to listen to _you_ all day.

**Dear Marui,  
>Why do you keep calling yourself a tensai? I mean... did something happen to you as a child that made you call yourself that or what? And don't give me a stupid answer!<strong>

Marui B.: My grandmother happened, that's what.

Kirihara A.: What you mean she happened?

Marui B.: I always liked learning Japanese and being in music classes and she called me a genius when I got perfect test scores. I guess it kind of stuck with me.

Jackal K.: Well, that's actually one of the more normal and nicer things that has to do with the tennis club.

Marui B.: Yup. I kinda... miss her.

Kirihara A.: Wait, she _died? _I'm sorry, Marui-sempai, I didn't know!

Niou M.: That's harsh.

Marui B.: What? No. She still alive. She just thinks I'm a freak and likes my little brothers better. Y'know, since I like sugar and have a bold hair color. She's convinced I'll turn out to be a _yankee******_.

Jackal K.: ...it stopped being normal. We were so close to having ONE normalcy!

**Dear Yuuta,  
>Are you going to keep using that Twist Spin Shot or not?<strong>

Fuji Y.: Hell no! I said I wasnted to destroy _Aniki_, not my entire future or bone structure!

Yanagisawa S.: Are you sure you thought it through when you taught Yuuta that move, _dane?_

Mizuki H.: I had the situation under control until Fuji pulled a fast one on me!

Akazawa Y.: I just hope you aren't _th__is _much a failure at life. You're going to die young.

Fuji Y.: I heard from _Aniki _that "a man is cured of his idiocy only when he dies"*******... It was nice knowing you, Mizuki! And thanks for the email questions.

Mizuki H.: Wow. Thanks _so_ much for the support, guys, really. I'm crying tears of joy.

* * *

><p><strong>*pole: You know, the one that holds up the net. Ryoma broke his racket on it when he played against Ibu.<br>**

****Kami-sama: God. However you take it.**

*****local cuisine: Frog legs are considered a delicacy in France, as are snails.**

******Banchou: lit. The leader of a delinquent gang. :)**

*******Ane-ue: A respectable way to call an older sister/family member in the same generation, even more so than Onee-sama.**

********Yankee: Not the baseball team from New York. In Japan, yankee is slang for delinquent, a rogue wild child. Example: Akutsu.**

*********This is actually a real Japanese proverb, with more or less the same wording.**

**There were a lot of notes in this one... I have to go back and edit the others to make sure I didn't miss anything!**

**Woop! Three more to go! Le's do this!  
><strong>


	21. RockPrincess410

**PART 7! Almost done! Read on!**

* * *

><p>From RockPrincess410-san to the Princes of Seigaku, Hyoutei, Rikkai, and Shitenhouji:<p>

**Dear Tezuka,  
>Will you EVER get rid of your stoic personality? And will you let me call you "Tezu-chan"?<strong>

Tezuka K.: No, and I refuse.

Fuji S.: Aw, come on, Tezuka. You're no fun.

Tezuka K.: So as to not let my guard down.

Fuji S.: Ara, isn't that Chitose's _imouto_, Miyuki-chan?

Tezuka K.: WHAT? WHERE?

Echizen R.: So Buchou _does_ have feelings...

Kikumaru E.: I didn't expect him to like younger girls, nya!

Momoshiro T.: Buchou let his guard down! Look, he's red!

Tezuka K.: Inui, you have full permission to experiment on them until they _die_.

Oishi S.: That's too harsh!

Inui S.: It's not prudent to deny the obvious, Tezuka.

Tezuka K.: ...

Fuji S.: Since he's not functioning properly anymore, feel free to call him whatever you please. Any objections, _Tezu-chan?_

Kawamura T.: You're in the clear! Take advantage of it before he tells you to jog to hell and back!

**Dear Atobe,  
>Can you stop calling yourself "Ore-sama"?<strong>

Atobe K.: When Ore-sama feels that it is not necessary to make clear the fact that Ore-sama is superior!

Oshitari Y.: Let's face it; he surrounds himself with people "below" him just so he can act high-and-mighty.

Ootori C.: He boosts his own ego without any of it making any sense.

Shishido R.: To put it bluntly, he's an ass.

**Dear Niou,  
>Have you ever cross-dressed for pulling off a prank?<strong>

Niou M.: WHOA. No one's ever done anything to deserve THAT kind of punishment, and neither have _I_.

Marui B.: I think that doesn't classify as a prank, but rather as a hybrid of public humiliation and a blindness epidemic.

Kirihara A.: Blindness?

Niou M.: Think, brat. No one wants to see a fourteen-year-old guy in _drag_. They'd prefer gouging their eyes out, hence the blind.

Kirihara A.: Oh. I didn't think they'd need to gouge their eyes out to go blind. I think looking at your hideousness would be enough to do that.

Jackal K.: Stop talking to them, Akaya, you're starting to _sound_ like them.

**Dear Momo,  
>Will you please irritate Kaidoh for me?<strong>

Kaidoh K.: ...what? Why...?

Momoshiro T.: 'Cuz they understand that you're an indecent human being that doesn't deserve peace of mind!

Kaidoh K.: That's what _you_ think, Peach Ass*, but why would they...?

Momoshiro T.: I dunno! Don't ask me! Maybe you killed their cat or kicked their dog or something.

Kaidoh K.: ...!

Inui S.: Momo, Kaidoh loves animals almost more than tennis. He's probably gone into a state of shock that you suggested he'd harm or kill one. Good job sending him into erratic sob fest.

Momoshiro T.: Uh... Um... Well, I made him cry! I did what she asked and kinda sorta "irritated" him to tears! It counts!

**Dear Shiraishi,  
>Why do you scare Kintarou with your "Poison Arm"?<strong>

Shiraishi K.: Woman, do you _know_ what he'd be capable of if we didn't have a control over him?

Tooyama K.: I know what I'd do! I'd play tennis the awesomest way EVER and I'd be unstoppable!

Chitose S.: If he ever reached the ocean in his unchained state, he'd probably be the cause of the Apocalypse.

**Dear Yagyuu,  
>How do you put up with Niou's antics?<strong>

Yagyuu H.: Simply put, I don't. I've seen him do enough damage that I've grown to be a bit insensitive about it. I will try to do damage control when necessary, usually with cases involving Akaya or girls who were unlucky enough to be made victims of Niou-kun's pranks.

Yukimura S.: Yes, and you're doing a bang-up job, Mr. Watchdog. I hope you continue to do so in the future.

Kirihara A.: ACK!

Jackal K.: NIOU!

Marui B.: MY CAKE!

Niou M.: _Puri_.

Sanada G.: _TARUNDORU!_

Yagyuu H.: I cannot be held responsible as I was speaking with the man in charge.

**Dear Marui,  
>How do you manage to stay SUPER THIN even after eating sugary stuff?<strong>

Marui B.: Are you calling me _fat?_

Jackal K.: Calm down! Maybe she's asking about the secret to your success!

Marui B.: Tch. I only eat sweets and sugar when I'm playing a game and need a boost or I know I'll play it off later. I'm not fat, I'm at a healthy average for my age and weight according to the BMI Index**! Now stop talking to me!

Kirihara A.: Sempai, can I go with you for cake?

Marui B.: Sure! Let's go! Thanks for the mail, by the way!

* * *

><p><strong>*Peach Ass: Momo and Shiro mean 'peach' and 'white' separately. The word for 'ass' is Shiri, so Kaidoh's making fun of his name.<strong>

****I actually did look it up from a reliable source, and Marui weighs healthily. (Though he's very close to the overweight margin...)**

**Two more to go, and they're one-liners! WHOOP!  
><strong>


	22. MinayNguyen 3

**I hope this was okay, since I couldn't think of anything else to put for an answer.**

* * *

><p>From MinayNguyen to a Prince of Seigaku:<p>

**Dear Oishi,  
>What's with the weird hairstyle?<strong>

Oishi S.: Well, at least you don't call me an egghead like Eiji does...

Kikumaru E.: Because you look like one! Sometimes, I draw your face on the eggs in the carton* because then they look like mini-Oishis that are _oishii**!_

Oishi S.: ...there's something wrong with your logic. But... you're right. I have no idea why my hair is so weird. Maybe I should let it grow out instead of shaving it and having only the bangs there.

* * *

><p><strong>*I actually did this for an egg drop project in my Physics class. Our Oishi Egg broke his butt after one trial. (Poor thing... After that we climbed to the top of a ladder and executed him by throwing him onto the tile floor below!)<br>**

****Oishii: With two 'i's at the end, it is the Japanese word for delicious. (I have partial ownership of an ostrich egg shell we named Oishii.)  
><strong>

**Next chapter is LAST! YEAH!  
><strong>


	23. dindin

**WOOT! LAST CHAPTER! AWRIGHT!**

* * *

><p>From dindin-san to No One In Particular:<p>

**Doesn't the Philippines have 7'107 islands? XD**

Yanagi R.: Yes. The authoress is just a pathetic excuse for a human who can't proofread the facts for her own home country.

Randomness: It's true... I'm sorry.

* * *

><p><strong>How sad. I completely missed that. D:<strong>

**Also, please let me know if you catch any mistakes in the chapter I just posted. I haven't slept in... 19 hours. (HELP ME.)  
><strong>

**But I guess it's okay, since I stayed up for an extra two hours to update for you guys on my birthday (13th)/Valentine's. Well, whenever you get this, I hope you enjoy the gift!**

**Also, happy birthday to Ootori Choutarou! His birthday is also Valentine's Day. I hope the poor kid doesn't suffer death by fangirls... (Though death by chocolate doesn't sound too bad.)  
><strong>


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